Posts
Nice story about some Nebraska Volunteers who are coming back from Louisiana
LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) - Nebraska state workers who went to
Louisiana to help hurricane victims are headed for home.
The 12 Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services workers
left Nebraska on Sept. 12 and had been slated to return Sept. 22.
But they stayed an extra week to continue their relief efforts.
Louisiana is picking up the costs.
The Nebraska staffers have worked on the federal disaster food
stamp program, mostly recently this summer after several Nebraska
communities were hit by storms.
The U.S. Department of Agriculture provided more than $11
million worth of disaster benefits for food in Nebraska after state
officials approved aid for more than 23,500 households statewide.
It used to be a big deal, a rare occurance, when a hurricane would cause enormous amounts of damage. Hugo was a bad one. So was Andrew. Those are two past storms that I can recall off the top of my head.
These days, it's like the gulf coast gets destroyed every single year. 2005 was a complete cluster eff even BEFORE Katrina rolled in and destroyed a major American city.
How long before people admit that it was a stupid idea to build towns and cities below sea level on the coast, pull up stakes, and get the hell out of there?
Bad weather is everywhere, yeah, I know. THIS however has become a regular occurance.
MOVE you dumbshits. MOVE.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Good News! You Can Rape All The Sheep You Want in Michigan and you Don't Have to Register as a Sex Offender!
http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080925/NEWS03/809250421/1005
In what will surely be hailed as a monumentous victory for sheep rapers everywhere, one Jeffrey Scott Haynes, aged 45 of Michigan, will not have to register as a sex offender upon his release after serving his term for sexually assaulting a sheep. The judge ruled that animals cannot be the victims of sexual assault, therefore, Haynes is not a sex offender.
He is just a sheep raper.
This is a crushing blow to the livestock in this area, who were no doubt silently praying for SOME manner of legal precedent to be set in this regard.
This reminds me of one of the few times Jay Leno has made me laugh. He wondered aloud how people who engage in this behavior go about picking which animal they will assault. "Not that one, not that one... THIS ONE."
How'd you like to be the one to find someone doing the hibbidy dibbidy with livestock? I think you would picture it every time you closed your eyes.
Then, of course, there's a line from the classic 'Super Troopers.'
"Hey... Bear fucker! Do you need assistance?"
In what will surely be hailed as a monumentous victory for sheep rapers everywhere, one Jeffrey Scott Haynes, aged 45 of Michigan, will not have to register as a sex offender upon his release after serving his term for sexually assaulting a sheep. The judge ruled that animals cannot be the victims of sexual assault, therefore, Haynes is not a sex offender.
He is just a sheep raper.
This is a crushing blow to the livestock in this area, who were no doubt silently praying for SOME manner of legal precedent to be set in this regard.
This reminds me of one of the few times Jay Leno has made me laugh. He wondered aloud how people who engage in this behavior go about picking which animal they will assault. "Not that one, not that one... THIS ONE."
How'd you like to be the one to find someone doing the hibbidy dibbidy with livestock? I think you would picture it every time you closed your eyes.
Then, of course, there's a line from the classic 'Super Troopers.'
"Hey... Bear fucker! Do you need assistance?"
Design a Baby: It's Like Sim-City, Only Instead of a Computer City, It's a Real Baby
America is a consumer driven society, and soon, the ultimate accessory will be available...
CUSTOM DESIGNED BABIES.
http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Investing/HomeMortgageSavings/designing-the-100000-baby.aspx
Want your kid to have blue eyes and blond hair? Done. Want junior to be cancer resistant? Okeedokey. Want the kid to be a jock? Can do.
It's amazing stuff, and it's not that far off. Already they are holding expos where vendors set up brightly colored booths and hawk 'cutting-edge baby making technology' which, incidentally, is the copyright protected name I have given my penis. HA! I wrote this post just to make that joke.
Once this stuff becomes reality the religious right will shit, and part of me is inclined to agree with them. This is frightening stuff. Kids with price tags? I don't suppose anyone here has seen Gattica?
On the other hand, there are some breathtakingly ugly children in this particular area of Souf Central Souf Dakota. I mean, it's tough to look at them. So, maybe made to order babies aren't such a bad idea.
CUSTOM DESIGNED BABIES.
http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Investing/HomeMortgageSavings/designing-the-100000-baby.aspx
Want your kid to have blue eyes and blond hair? Done. Want junior to be cancer resistant? Okeedokey. Want the kid to be a jock? Can do.
It's amazing stuff, and it's not that far off. Already they are holding expos where vendors set up brightly colored booths and hawk 'cutting-edge baby making technology' which, incidentally, is the copyright protected name I have given my penis. HA! I wrote this post just to make that joke.
Once this stuff becomes reality the religious right will shit, and part of me is inclined to agree with them. This is frightening stuff. Kids with price tags? I don't suppose anyone here has seen Gattica?
On the other hand, there are some breathtakingly ugly children in this particular area of Souf Central Souf Dakota. I mean, it's tough to look at them. So, maybe made to order babies aren't such a bad idea.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Where the Hell Were These Teachers When I was 13?
OMAHA, Neb. (AP) - A former teacher who fled to Mexico with a
13-year-old former student has gotten six years in federal prison.
In U.S. District Court on Monday, Kelsey Peterson also was
sentenced to five years of supervised release after she leaves
prison.
The 26-year-old pleaded guilty in July.
Peterson was the boy's sixth-grade math teacher at Lexington
Middle School during the 2005-2006 school year. She started having
sex with him in November 2006.
The pair disappeared in October, soon after the district's
superintendent confronted Peterson about allegations of an
inappropriate relationship with the boy, then 13.
She was arrested a week later in Mexicali, Mexico, after the boy
made a cell phone call to his family.
One of the most bizarre phenomenen (phenomenons?) in America is the sexy blonde teacher diddling the 12 year old kid with the mustache that she teaches fingerpainting to during school hours.
Why doesn't the word pedophile get thrown around when it comes to these women? Clearly, they are diseased mentally. It's not natural to want to bone your 13 year old student. Still, you never hear them referred to as pedophiles.
I'm probably just jealous. I was probably the most sexually frustrated teenager in the history of sexually frustrated teenagers. I ask again, where the hell were these women when I was in 6th grade?
13-year-old former student has gotten six years in federal prison.
In U.S. District Court on Monday, Kelsey Peterson also was
sentenced to five years of supervised release after she leaves
prison.
The 26-year-old pleaded guilty in July.
Peterson was the boy's sixth-grade math teacher at Lexington
Middle School during the 2005-2006 school year. She started having
sex with him in November 2006.
The pair disappeared in October, soon after the district's
superintendent confronted Peterson about allegations of an
inappropriate relationship with the boy, then 13.
She was arrested a week later in Mexicali, Mexico, after the boy
made a cell phone call to his family.
One of the most bizarre phenomenen (phenomenons?) in America is the sexy blonde teacher diddling the 12 year old kid with the mustache that she teaches fingerpainting to during school hours.
Why doesn't the word pedophile get thrown around when it comes to these women? Clearly, they are diseased mentally. It's not natural to want to bone your 13 year old student. Still, you never hear them referred to as pedophiles.
I'm probably just jealous. I was probably the most sexually frustrated teenager in the history of sexually frustrated teenagers. I ask again, where the hell were these women when I was in 6th grade?
JUST HOLD ON NOW... How good of a boob job are we talking about here?
http://www.engadget.com/2007/11/05/boy-hires-hitman-to-kill-parents-after-being-denied-playstation/
http://www.myfoxcolorado.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail?contentId=7526256&version=2&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=1.1.1
Kids these days. The first link goes to a story from late last year that the story on the second link reminded me of.
Story #1: A boy who had been grounded from his Playstation tried to hire an undercover cop to kill his parents. What's truly great about this is that the kid had been threatening to have his parents killed, and his parents are the ones who set him up with the undercover cop. Now the kids facing attempted murder. 2 things
1. How was he dropping these hints around the house? Here's my guess.
Mom: How was school, Lil Billy?
Lil Billy: It was fine.
Mom: What did you learn?
Lil Billy: I learned I'm going to hire a hitman to kill you.
Mom: What?
Lil Billy: Nothing.
2. Where would a cop posing as a hitman go to approach a 16 year kid? How was the initial meeting arranged? This kid must be a total dipshit. Now, I'm not here to tell people what to do and what not to do. If you want to kill your parents, I don't give a shit. Do it, then. Quit talking about it and do it. However, allow me to at least offer this advice. If you've been threatening to hire someone to kill your parents and suddenly, out of the blue, a hitman approaches you at Taco Bell, perhaps, you should look elsewhere, as he is probably a cop sent by your parents to trick your ignorant ignorant ass into committing a felony.
His big plan was to give the hitter his father's truck as payment for the dirty deed.
I only mention this story because a new one today reminded me of it. Let's move on...
Story #2: A Colorado teen engaged two other teenaged rocket scientists to beat his mother to death with a baseball bat. Fine. As I said, that doesn't bother me. Just leave my parents alone. I don't care what you do to yours.
Here's what makes this notable... one is the fact that the two dunces hired to kill Mom did indeed beat her with a bat. She didn't die though. Is there anything worse than a half ass hit? COME ON.
The other notable aspect of this story is the reason behind the attack. The boy, Nikita Lee Weis, wanted his mom dead so he could drain her checking account and sell her car to pay for a new pair of tittays for his 21 year old girlfriend, one Sophia Nicole Alsept.
I think the obvious question here is, how nice were the new boobies going to be? Another obvious one is, how bad are her boobies currently? Obviously it was a situation worth killing over. Incidentally Sophia slightly resembles a girl I went to high school with. That girl already had nice boobs though. Luckily.
One final thought. I think the mom had this coming, if only for naming her son 'Nikita.' Something to bear in mind the next time you are inclined to give your child a stupid name.
http://www.myfoxcolorado.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail?contentId=7526256&version=2&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=1.1.1
Kids these days. The first link goes to a story from late last year that the story on the second link reminded me of.
Story #1: A boy who had been grounded from his Playstation tried to hire an undercover cop to kill his parents. What's truly great about this is that the kid had been threatening to have his parents killed, and his parents are the ones who set him up with the undercover cop. Now the kids facing attempted murder. 2 things
1. How was he dropping these hints around the house? Here's my guess.
Mom: How was school, Lil Billy?
Lil Billy: It was fine.
Mom: What did you learn?
Lil Billy: I learned I'm going to hire a hitman to kill you.
Mom: What?
Lil Billy: Nothing.
2. Where would a cop posing as a hitman go to approach a 16 year kid? How was the initial meeting arranged? This kid must be a total dipshit. Now, I'm not here to tell people what to do and what not to do. If you want to kill your parents, I don't give a shit. Do it, then. Quit talking about it and do it. However, allow me to at least offer this advice. If you've been threatening to hire someone to kill your parents and suddenly, out of the blue, a hitman approaches you at Taco Bell, perhaps, you should look elsewhere, as he is probably a cop sent by your parents to trick your ignorant ignorant ass into committing a felony.
His big plan was to give the hitter his father's truck as payment for the dirty deed.
I only mention this story because a new one today reminded me of it. Let's move on...
Story #2: A Colorado teen engaged two other teenaged rocket scientists to beat his mother to death with a baseball bat. Fine. As I said, that doesn't bother me. Just leave my parents alone. I don't care what you do to yours.
Here's what makes this notable... one is the fact that the two dunces hired to kill Mom did indeed beat her with a bat. She didn't die though. Is there anything worse than a half ass hit? COME ON.
The other notable aspect of this story is the reason behind the attack. The boy, Nikita Lee Weis, wanted his mom dead so he could drain her checking account and sell her car to pay for a new pair of tittays for his 21 year old girlfriend, one Sophia Nicole Alsept.
I think the obvious question here is, how nice were the new boobies going to be? Another obvious one is, how bad are her boobies currently? Obviously it was a situation worth killing over. Incidentally Sophia slightly resembles a girl I went to high school with. That girl already had nice boobs though. Luckily.
One final thought. I think the mom had this coming, if only for naming her son 'Nikita.' Something to bear in mind the next time you are inclined to give your child a stupid name.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
I'm an Internet Minister
I was reminded in a roundabout way tonight that I am an ordained Internet Minister. I earned this serious, life changing designation one day during web design class. I was bored with playing 'Bejeweled.'
The problem is I often go months at a time forgetting that I have these Holy Jesus powers. Then, I'll remember and go on a week long tear of blessing people's beers against their will and speaking in religious tones.
Maybe tonight I'll make my way down to one of the fine drinking establishments and threaten to declare a couple of homophobes to be married in the eyes of the internet Lord.
OR
I could claim that since the Black Hills were taken illegally, this isn't America at all, and then I'll say, "I now pronounce you man and also man."
And they'll say, "This isn't the Black Hills, though."
And I'll say, "Shut up queers. Get the hell out of America."
I think any one reading this should check out this site.
www.sexwithtimaree.com
It's an old friend of mine who writes the most entertaining columns about doing the nasty I've ever seen.
The problem is I often go months at a time forgetting that I have these Holy Jesus powers. Then, I'll remember and go on a week long tear of blessing people's beers against their will and speaking in religious tones.
Maybe tonight I'll make my way down to one of the fine drinking establishments and threaten to declare a couple of homophobes to be married in the eyes of the internet Lord.
OR
I could claim that since the Black Hills were taken illegally, this isn't America at all, and then I'll say, "I now pronounce you man and also man."
And they'll say, "This isn't the Black Hills, though."
And I'll say, "Shut up queers. Get the hell out of America."
I think any one reading this should check out this site.
www.sexwithtimaree.com
It's an old friend of mine who writes the most entertaining columns about doing the nasty I've ever seen.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Don't Buy Locally... Let Them Die
I like to think that the Dispatch is a legitimate web publication. I don't like the word 'blog.' I don't think it fits. I'm not posting photographs of my cat and the outfits I dress it in. I'm not talking about my vacation or my day or anything.
The way it works is, I go out and find the weird stuff, bring it back, and post the link or the AP story. Then I comment on it in a humorous manner. That's how it works.
Today, however, I dare to venture into the 'blog' or 'web diary' territory. My justification is that this story illustrates what it's like here, in the butt crack of America that is Souf Dakota.
I've made some terrible decisions as a consumer. I paid 50 grand for a degree that isn't worth the paper it's printed on. I paid $2500 for a lap top that probably wasn't worth $500. I bought an X-Box 360 that quit working properly less than a month after I took it out of the box.
Even given all that, I would argue that the worst consumer decision I've made in a long time was choosing to shop locally. I made the mistake of ordering a new phone charger from a local All-Tel dealer. Never mind that the phone is less than a year old and they should have had a charger here already for me to walk in and purchase. So, whatever, order one for me then.
That was August.
In the amount of time it's taken to get here I have been to North Platte twice. North Platte Nebraska is a desperately boring and trashy town but just off the top of my head I can think of 4 places I could have purchased a new phone charger. In the amount of time it's taken the Pony Express to get it here, I could have walked to China and gotten one directly from the factory. IN THE TIME IT HAS TAKEN FOR THE GODDAMN CHARGER TO GET HERE I COULD HAVE MADE ONE OUT OF A LEMON AND A PENNY FOR SHIT'S SAKE
http://hilaroad.com/camp/projects/lemon/lemon_battery.html
The moral of the story is, don't shop locally. The ladies have certainly been kind when apologizing when I ask them about the charger. Frankly, I would rather be disrespected by a zit faced teenager at Wal Mart for 2 minutes and walk out with the goddamn charger in my hand.
"Personal service" is overrated. They don't really treat you any better at these small local shops anyway. It's a myth. It's certainly not worth the extra money and time it will take.
Do your Christmas shopping at Wal Mart and let small town America fade away for good.
The way it works is, I go out and find the weird stuff, bring it back, and post the link or the AP story. Then I comment on it in a humorous manner. That's how it works.
Today, however, I dare to venture into the 'blog' or 'web diary' territory. My justification is that this story illustrates what it's like here, in the butt crack of America that is Souf Dakota.
I've made some terrible decisions as a consumer. I paid 50 grand for a degree that isn't worth the paper it's printed on. I paid $2500 for a lap top that probably wasn't worth $500. I bought an X-Box 360 that quit working properly less than a month after I took it out of the box.
Even given all that, I would argue that the worst consumer decision I've made in a long time was choosing to shop locally. I made the mistake of ordering a new phone charger from a local All-Tel dealer. Never mind that the phone is less than a year old and they should have had a charger here already for me to walk in and purchase. So, whatever, order one for me then.
That was August.
In the amount of time it's taken to get here I have been to North Platte twice. North Platte Nebraska is a desperately boring and trashy town but just off the top of my head I can think of 4 places I could have purchased a new phone charger. In the amount of time it's taken the Pony Express to get it here, I could have walked to China and gotten one directly from the factory. IN THE TIME IT HAS TAKEN FOR THE GODDAMN CHARGER TO GET HERE I COULD HAVE MADE ONE OUT OF A LEMON AND A PENNY FOR SHIT'S SAKE
http://hilaroad.com/camp/projects/lemon/lemon_battery.html
The moral of the story is, don't shop locally. The ladies have certainly been kind when apologizing when I ask them about the charger. Frankly, I would rather be disrespected by a zit faced teenager at Wal Mart for 2 minutes and walk out with the goddamn charger in my hand.
"Personal service" is overrated. They don't really treat you any better at these small local shops anyway. It's a myth. It's certainly not worth the extra money and time it will take.
Do your Christmas shopping at Wal Mart and let small town America fade away for good.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Merry Christmas! What Did I Get You? I Killed Your Mom and Your Aunt! Their Bodies Are In the Basement! Plus, I'm Going to Rape You Now!
OMAHA, Neb. (AP) - A 47-year-old Omaha man has been sentenced to
two life sentences in prison for killing his girlfriend and her
sister.
Fabian Hands pleaded guilty in July to two counts of
first-degree murder and weapons charges in the stabbing deaths of
36-year-old Saundra Brown and 48-year-old Renota Brown. Their
bodies were found Christmas Eve last year in the basement of a
north Omaha house.
Hands also pleaded guilty to first-degree sexual assault for an
attack on the adult daughter of one of the victims. Police say she
ran from a bedroom of the house begging for help when officers
arrived at the house on Christmas Eve. Officers later discovered
the bodies of her mother and aunt in the basement.
Prosecutors agreed not to seek the death penalty for Hands in
exchange for his guilty pleas.
I've had had some rough Christmas holidays in my life. One whole side of my family has never liked me and that has led to some awkward, awkward days.
Still, in retrospect, I guess it could have been worse. Having to play marbles for the 2000th time kinda pales when compared to being butchered and stashed in the basement.
!BONUS!
A Sarah Palin sighting in Omaha!
OMAHA, Neb. (AP) - Nebraska Humane Society officials have seized
a pit bull accused of attacking a man on an Omaha city street this
weekend.
Officials say the dog was taken Sunday afternoon after it
attacked a man in northeast Omaha.
Officials say the dog was not licensed and they found no record
of current vaccinations.
The dog was tracked down after the man sought treatment for a
bite to his stomach.
A recent rash of attacks and confrontations involving pit bulls
has led Omaha officials to consider strengthening city ordinances
dealing with the breed and dogs considered to be dangerous.
two life sentences in prison for killing his girlfriend and her
sister.
Fabian Hands pleaded guilty in July to two counts of
first-degree murder and weapons charges in the stabbing deaths of
36-year-old Saundra Brown and 48-year-old Renota Brown. Their
bodies were found Christmas Eve last year in the basement of a
north Omaha house.
Hands also pleaded guilty to first-degree sexual assault for an
attack on the adult daughter of one of the victims. Police say she
ran from a bedroom of the house begging for help when officers
arrived at the house on Christmas Eve. Officers later discovered
the bodies of her mother and aunt in the basement.
Prosecutors agreed not to seek the death penalty for Hands in
exchange for his guilty pleas.
I've had had some rough Christmas holidays in my life. One whole side of my family has never liked me and that has led to some awkward, awkward days.
Still, in retrospect, I guess it could have been worse. Having to play marbles for the 2000th time kinda pales when compared to being butchered and stashed in the basement.
!BONUS!
A Sarah Palin sighting in Omaha!
OMAHA, Neb. (AP) - Nebraska Humane Society officials have seized
a pit bull accused of attacking a man on an Omaha city street this
weekend.
Officials say the dog was taken Sunday afternoon after it
attacked a man in northeast Omaha.
Officials say the dog was not licensed and they found no record
of current vaccinations.
The dog was tracked down after the man sought treatment for a
bite to his stomach.
A recent rash of attacks and confrontations involving pit bulls
has led Omaha officials to consider strengthening city ordinances
dealing with the breed and dogs considered to be dangerous.
Lipstick is SO HARD to clean out of a gaping stomach wound.
The AP is an Embarrassment of Riches Today
Here are the two best so far out of what has been a good day for weird Souf Dakota and Nebraska news. Just missing the cut: Two douche bags using a dead relative's credit card to rack up 25 grand in debt, and vandals reeking havoc in the Deadwood cemetary.
PIERRE, S.D. (AP) - A 23-year-old Pierre man has received a
five-year suspended prison sentence for stealing women's underwear.
Matthew Poole also was put on probation for 3 years and must pay
$850 in restitution.
He also was ordered to get sex-offender counseling and stay away
from children, pornography and adult entertainment businesses.
Hughes County State's Attorney Kelly Marnette says Poole was
working as a deliveryman and stole the women's undergarments from
homes where he was making deliveries.
What, like YOU'VE never entered someone's home, under the pretense of making a delivery of furniture or electronics or oxygen or whatever, and stolen some panties? Like YOU'VE never done that? Fine, lie to me, yourself, God, and the entire internet.
How did they catch the guy? Did they find him with his hand in the cookie jar? Or panty jar, as it were?
Also, doesn't the sentence seem a little extreme for just being a pervert? Why can't he look at porn or go to titty bars or dildo stores? Where else is he to aqcuire the various lubes and assorted ticklers and devices that normal, healthy adults often find themselves in need of? It all seems a little Draconian to me.
SIOUX FALLS, S.D. (AP) - Sioux Falls police say a cab driver was
arrested Saturday night after telling an undercover officer that
her cab ride would be free if she let him videotape her.
Police say 45-year-old Marc Steven Trujillo (truh-HEE'-oh) faces
three charges related to his cab operation and one charge of
marijuana possession.
This past spring, Trujillo, of the cab service "ABC Deliver
Me," was arrested for soliciting prostitution and two drug
charges. The city then suspended his license to operate a cab.
In a release, police said they had gotten subsequent complaints
that Trujillo was still operating his cab service and was trying to
videotape female fares.
Marc Steven Trujillo is one of my AP-lebrities. That is, someone who pops up and their story is interesting enough for me to make mental note of the details and/or their name. Some AP-lebrities have their one, white hot moment of glory and disappear (a la Tango Crenshaw). Others pop up again, like Mr. Trujillo and the Butt Bandit.
So, this Trujillo character is a repeat offender. He first came to my attention in August, a few weeks before I started the Pheasant Dispatch. He, as a cab driver in Sioux Falls, was kind enough to offer free rides to young women. All they had to do was give him a blow job.
Amazingly, not everyone was thrilled by his proposal, and the man laid the hammer down on him. Not to be deterred, Marc Steven Trujillo persisted, as any great American should. A colleague pointed out that he probably wouldn't keep it up if it hadn't worked at least once.
So, the question is...
How did YOU enjoy your cab ride in Sioux Falls?
PIERRE, S.D. (AP) - A 23-year-old Pierre man has received a
five-year suspended prison sentence for stealing women's underwear.
Matthew Poole also was put on probation for 3 years and must pay
$850 in restitution.
He also was ordered to get sex-offender counseling and stay away
from children, pornography and adult entertainment businesses.
Hughes County State's Attorney Kelly Marnette says Poole was
working as a deliveryman and stole the women's undergarments from
homes where he was making deliveries.
What, like YOU'VE never entered someone's home, under the pretense of making a delivery of furniture or electronics or oxygen or whatever, and stolen some panties? Like YOU'VE never done that? Fine, lie to me, yourself, God, and the entire internet.
How did they catch the guy? Did they find him with his hand in the cookie jar? Or panty jar, as it were?
Also, doesn't the sentence seem a little extreme for just being a pervert? Why can't he look at porn or go to titty bars or dildo stores? Where else is he to aqcuire the various lubes and assorted ticklers and devices that normal, healthy adults often find themselves in need of? It all seems a little Draconian to me.
SIOUX FALLS, S.D. (AP) - Sioux Falls police say a cab driver was
arrested Saturday night after telling an undercover officer that
her cab ride would be free if she let him videotape her.
Police say 45-year-old Marc Steven Trujillo (truh-HEE'-oh) faces
three charges related to his cab operation and one charge of
marijuana possession.
This past spring, Trujillo, of the cab service "ABC Deliver
Me," was arrested for soliciting prostitution and two drug
charges. The city then suspended his license to operate a cab.
In a release, police said they had gotten subsequent complaints
that Trujillo was still operating his cab service and was trying to
videotape female fares.
Marc Steven Trujillo is one of my AP-lebrities. That is, someone who pops up and their story is interesting enough for me to make mental note of the details and/or their name. Some AP-lebrities have their one, white hot moment of glory and disappear (a la Tango Crenshaw). Others pop up again, like Mr. Trujillo and the Butt Bandit.
So, this Trujillo character is a repeat offender. He first came to my attention in August, a few weeks before I started the Pheasant Dispatch. He, as a cab driver in Sioux Falls, was kind enough to offer free rides to young women. All they had to do was give him a blow job.
Amazingly, not everyone was thrilled by his proposal, and the man laid the hammer down on him. Not to be deterred, Marc Steven Trujillo persisted, as any great American should. A colleague pointed out that he probably wouldn't keep it up if it hadn't worked at least once.
So, the question is...
How did YOU enjoy your cab ride in Sioux Falls?
There's a Picture of Jamie Lynn Spears' Boob Out There, and if You Want to See it You are a Pervert and a Criminal
http://www.tmz.com/2008/09/22/mommy-pics-of-brits-sis-trigger-criminal-probe/
Quick recap: Jamie Lynn Spears is Britney Spears' sister and she got knocked up at 16 (like any good republican girl) and she had a baby and her baby daddy took pictures of her doing various mommy things such as breast feeding and then he took his camara card to Wal-Mart and someone made extra copies and is trying to sell them which has opened up a can of shit that includes a federal child pornography investigation and the Spears clan contemplating filing suit against Wal-Mart. Whew!
Here's my thought on this... if your baby mama is THE single most famous unmarried teenage mother on the planet, and the child's aunt is only a few months removed from a two year train wreck public meltdown the likes of which has never been seen, and you have a picture of your baby mama's exposed breast, maybe you shouldn't take those pictures down to Darryl at the Wal-Mart to get them developed. Maybe you could have figured out a smarter way to handle that situation.
The idea of this being child pornography is, to me, ironic if not laughable. A decade ago, Aunt Britney was rocketing to international super stardom on the strength of her jail bait body and provactive dancing at the age of 16.
A co-worker and I were discussing Britney just a few minutes ago. I think she's as hot as she ever was. Then again, I have a thing for moms. He thinks she won't ever be hot again unless she gets her 16 year old rock hard body back. He is unreasonable and childish, I believe. He has these ridiculous standards. I tell him, ALL THE TIME, just have a fat girl give you head and your outlook on life will improve 100%. But NOOOOOO.
I'm sorry... what was I talking about?
Quick recap: Jamie Lynn Spears is Britney Spears' sister and she got knocked up at 16 (like any good republican girl) and she had a baby and her baby daddy took pictures of her doing various mommy things such as breast feeding and then he took his camara card to Wal-Mart and someone made extra copies and is trying to sell them which has opened up a can of shit that includes a federal child pornography investigation and the Spears clan contemplating filing suit against Wal-Mart. Whew!
Here's my thought on this... if your baby mama is THE single most famous unmarried teenage mother on the planet, and the child's aunt is only a few months removed from a two year train wreck public meltdown the likes of which has never been seen, and you have a picture of your baby mama's exposed breast, maybe you shouldn't take those pictures down to Darryl at the Wal-Mart to get them developed. Maybe you could have figured out a smarter way to handle that situation.
The idea of this being child pornography is, to me, ironic if not laughable. A decade ago, Aunt Britney was rocketing to international super stardom on the strength of her jail bait body and provactive dancing at the age of 16.
A co-worker and I were discussing Britney just a few minutes ago. I think she's as hot as she ever was. Then again, I have a thing for moms. He thinks she won't ever be hot again unless she gets her 16 year old rock hard body back. He is unreasonable and childish, I believe. He has these ridiculous standards. I tell him, ALL THE TIME, just have a fat girl give you head and your outlook on life will improve 100%. But NOOOOOO.
I'm sorry... what was I talking about?
Knock Knock... Who's There?... It's a Bum Eating Your Cheese and Sleeping in Your Child's Bed
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26799738/?GT1=43001
Many things go bump in the night. Sometimes it's the wind. Other times it's a machete carrying hockey mask wearing psycho who wants to kill you and all those naughty teenagers what with the sex and the doobies.
Or maybe, if you live in Billings Montana (and who doesn't?) it may just be Tracy Mullins, a 47 year old man who looks eerily like Charles Manson but in reality has no more evil intentions than to eat your cheese and sleep it off in whatever bed happens to be handy.
Last Monday a woman in Billings was awoken at 8:30AM by the sound of snoring coming from her child's room. She investigated, found Mullins, woke her husband, and went to the neighbor's house to call the police. Meanwhile, her husband menaced Mullins with an unloaded shotgun, keeping him there until the police arrived.
Apparently Mullins is crazy and he has been receiving treatment. One interesting note from the story is the tid bit that he 'made a mess' in the bathroom. What exactly does that mean? Did he pee on the floor? Did he poop in the shower? Or did he just leave a towel on the floor? I hate it when they leave out the details.
The guys trial began last Thursday. I'll be hoping for an update.
Many things go bump in the night. Sometimes it's the wind. Other times it's a machete carrying hockey mask wearing psycho who wants to kill you and all those naughty teenagers what with the sex and the doobies.
Or maybe, if you live in Billings Montana (and who doesn't?) it may just be Tracy Mullins, a 47 year old man who looks eerily like Charles Manson but in reality has no more evil intentions than to eat your cheese and sleep it off in whatever bed happens to be handy.
Last Monday a woman in Billings was awoken at 8:30AM by the sound of snoring coming from her child's room. She investigated, found Mullins, woke her husband, and went to the neighbor's house to call the police. Meanwhile, her husband menaced Mullins with an unloaded shotgun, keeping him there until the police arrived.
Apparently Mullins is crazy and he has been receiving treatment. One interesting note from the story is the tid bit that he 'made a mess' in the bathroom. What exactly does that mean? Did he pee on the floor? Did he poop in the shower? Or did he just leave a towel on the floor? I hate it when they leave out the details.
The guys trial began last Thursday. I'll be hoping for an update.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
I am Mohamed Rage
OMAHA, Neb. (AP) - A dispute at a Grand Island meatpacking plant
has led to the firings or resignations of more than 60 Muslim
employees.
Local union president Dan Hoppes says between 60 and 80 Muslim
workers at the JBS Swift & Co. plant walked off the job Thursday
night. He says that happened after "getting loud" about wanting
time to pray during their shift. He says management told the
workers to go back to work or leave. They left.
But Somali leader Mohamed Rage says about 80 workers were fired
after a verbal altercation with Hispanic workers and management
over the prayer issue. Rage says a few workers have said that if
the 80 weren't rehired, more could quit Friday.
Both Hoppes and Rage say operations were normal or near normal
Friday afternoon.
Mohamed Rage is one of the best real names I've ever seen. It's up there with Tango Crenshaw, an rv driver who was charged with throwing (yeah, throwing) an ax at other motorist. Tango then produced a shovel and was menacing his victim with it when the police arrived. Tango Crenshaw and Mohamed Rage should become partners. It doesn't matter what activity they engage in, be it crime busting or tiddly winks.
In other news...
BROKEN BOW, Neb. (AP) - A 73-year-old man accused of paying a
10-year-old girl for sex has pleaded no contest to sexual assault
of a child in a deal with prosecutors.
Floyd Martin of Oconto appeared Thursday in Custer County
District Court and entered the plea.
In exchange, two other charges against him were dropped.
Court records show Martin was caught naked in bed with the girl
in June.
The girl told authorities Martin paid her $5 to have sex with
him.
Martin's sentencing is set for November. He faces up to 50 years in prison.
Yeah, I think it's funny. I'd be curious to know how old man river broached the subject to the ten year old. I'd also have liked to have been a fly on the wall when he got caught in bed with her. THAT would have been one HELL of an awkward confrontation. How did they arrive at the $5 price? Did they haggle? Will this pedophile get his ass kicked in the big house like all the other chimos? After all, he's an old man. You can't just kick an old man's asss, even if he is a pervert.
Finally...
LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) - Police say a knife-wielding man who was hit
by a Taser shot has died.
Police were called to a domestic disturbance just before 3 a.m.
Friday.
Chief Tom Casady says an officer found 23-year-old Gabriel
Bitterman holding his girlfriend at knifepoint.
Casady says the officer fired the Taser after Bitterman turned
toward the officer, still holding the knife despite the officer's
orders.
Bitterman soon stopped breathing.
The chief says Bitterman was given CPR and taken to a hospital,
where he was pronounced dead. An autopsy has been ordered.
Nothing seems out of line here. A tragic turn of events, to be sure, but I'm sure the cops had no other alternative.
Except... there's more
Casady says a crew for MTV's "Busted!" show was with the
officer and got an audio recording of the incident. The tape has
been retained as evidence.
Ooooooooooh SHIT! Perhaps the cops went a little gung ho for the camaras, maybe? Maybe I'm just being an ass. However, I'm of a mind to agree with Costigan from 'The Departed' when he said the only thing more full of shit than a cop is a cop on tv. Henry Rollins brilliantly satirizes the 'COPS' effect on police officers in the otherwise forgettable 'The Chase.' I'll be following this one.
has led to the firings or resignations of more than 60 Muslim
employees.
Local union president Dan Hoppes says between 60 and 80 Muslim
workers at the JBS Swift & Co. plant walked off the job Thursday
night. He says that happened after "getting loud" about wanting
time to pray during their shift. He says management told the
workers to go back to work or leave. They left.
But Somali leader Mohamed Rage says about 80 workers were fired
after a verbal altercation with Hispanic workers and management
over the prayer issue. Rage says a few workers have said that if
the 80 weren't rehired, more could quit Friday.
Both Hoppes and Rage say operations were normal or near normal
Friday afternoon.
Mohamed Rage is one of the best real names I've ever seen. It's up there with Tango Crenshaw, an rv driver who was charged with throwing (yeah, throwing) an ax at other motorist. Tango then produced a shovel and was menacing his victim with it when the police arrived. Tango Crenshaw and Mohamed Rage should become partners. It doesn't matter what activity they engage in, be it crime busting or tiddly winks.
In other news...
BROKEN BOW, Neb. (AP) - A 73-year-old man accused of paying a
10-year-old girl for sex has pleaded no contest to sexual assault
of a child in a deal with prosecutors.
Floyd Martin of Oconto appeared Thursday in Custer County
District Court and entered the plea.
In exchange, two other charges against him were dropped.
Court records show Martin was caught naked in bed with the girl
in June.
The girl told authorities Martin paid her $5 to have sex with
him.
Martin's sentencing is set for November. He faces up to 50 years in prison.
Yeah, I think it's funny. I'd be curious to know how old man river broached the subject to the ten year old. I'd also have liked to have been a fly on the wall when he got caught in bed with her. THAT would have been one HELL of an awkward confrontation. How did they arrive at the $5 price? Did they haggle? Will this pedophile get his ass kicked in the big house like all the other chimos? After all, he's an old man. You can't just kick an old man's asss, even if he is a pervert.
Finally...
LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) - Police say a knife-wielding man who was hit
by a Taser shot has died.
Police were called to a domestic disturbance just before 3 a.m.
Friday.
Chief Tom Casady says an officer found 23-year-old Gabriel
Bitterman holding his girlfriend at knifepoint.
Casady says the officer fired the Taser after Bitterman turned
toward the officer, still holding the knife despite the officer's
orders.
Bitterman soon stopped breathing.
The chief says Bitterman was given CPR and taken to a hospital,
where he was pronounced dead. An autopsy has been ordered.
Nothing seems out of line here. A tragic turn of events, to be sure, but I'm sure the cops had no other alternative.
Except... there's more
Casady says a crew for MTV's "Busted!" show was with the
officer and got an audio recording of the incident. The tape has
been retained as evidence.
Ooooooooooh SHIT! Perhaps the cops went a little gung ho for the camaras, maybe? Maybe I'm just being an ass. However, I'm of a mind to agree with Costigan from 'The Departed' when he said the only thing more full of shit than a cop is a cop on tv. Henry Rollins brilliantly satirizes the 'COPS' effect on police officers in the otherwise forgettable 'The Chase.' I'll be following this one.
Norman the Cat Totally Had This Coming
Today is a study in what happens when love of animals becomes violent.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,424486,00.html
This story was brought to the Dispatch's attention by our good friend, and to our knowledge, the only person who actually reads this blog, Tovilina.
The story is about a former athlete and current unemployed actor (if you are unemployed, couldn't you in theory be unemployed in whatever field you choose? The next time I'm 'on the beach' which is a fancy radio term for being out of work, I'm going to claim to be an unemployed astrophysicist). I thought, ok, I know the names of a lot of athletes and actors. The guy's name? Joseph Petcka.
...
...
Who the fuck is Joseph Petcka?
According to the story, he was dating an attractive and successful Sports Illustrated reporter who had a cat named Norman. Mr. Petcka was enamored with the reporter, and obsessed with earning the cat's affection. He went so far as to journal his progress with the cat. Unfortunately, Norman hated Mr. Petcka. Things culminated with Petcka getting drunk on his girlfriend's booze, threatening to microwave Norman, and eventually kicking the cat to death.
Take a deep breath. Ok. Here's the deal.
Super pretty women and cats are two things in this world that I have little use for. I don't trust them, I don't like being around them, and in the case of cats, I'm allergic to them (pretty women are in fact allergic to me. HA! Thank you! Tip your waittress). I derive a great deal of pleasure from watching beautiful women and cats get taken down a peg or two. Still, this, uh, may have been excessive.
Also, I am not a doctor, but my amateur diagnosis is that Joseph Petcka is completely insane.
In more local news...
LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) - The Lancaster County Sheriff's office found
no crime in an investigation into an alleged threat over a Hickman
horse.
Sergeant Scott Gaston said this evening that a deputy listened
to multiple messages, and that the words weren't criminal.
City Councilman Dave Dykmann says a phone message was left at
city offices Wednesday by a woman threatening to shoot him and the
mayor.
Gaston says while he can't share the message in question, it was
worded differently and the words "weren't criminal."
The person who left the messages was contacted, Gaston said, but
won't face any charges.
Here's an earlier AP story that fills in the details...
LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) - The flap over Peter Rabbit the horse has
turned deadly serious in the small Nebraska town of Hickman.
City Councilman Dave Dykmann says a woman left a phone message
at city offices on Wednesday saying "if I had a gun I'd shoot Dave
Dykmann and the mayor." The woman apparently was upset with the
council's recent decision to uphold its ban on livestock in city
limits and force the 32-year-old horse to leave the pasture where
he was born.
Peter Rabbit's 76-year-old owner, Harley Scott, has said the
horse is too old to move, and the horse remained in the pasture.
Officials have tried to ticket Scott, but Dykmann says the
family seems to have left town.
Harley Scott's son, Jack Scott, declined to comment on Thursday.
For crying out loud, just let nature run its course. The horse will kick the bucket soon enough. How bad would the council look if the horse gets injured or killed in transport? The situation moved one woman far enough to threaten violence, though evidently she did so in a way that 'wasn't criminal.' I'd love to learn how she did that, then I'll start committing crimes in a manner that isn't criminal, too. Hopefully all it will earn me is a stern talking to like she received.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,424486,00.html
This story was brought to the Dispatch's attention by our good friend, and to our knowledge, the only person who actually reads this blog, Tovilina.
The story is about a former athlete and current unemployed actor (if you are unemployed, couldn't you in theory be unemployed in whatever field you choose? The next time I'm 'on the beach' which is a fancy radio term for being out of work, I'm going to claim to be an unemployed astrophysicist). I thought, ok, I know the names of a lot of athletes and actors. The guy's name? Joseph Petcka.
...
...
Who the fuck is Joseph Petcka?
According to the story, he was dating an attractive and successful Sports Illustrated reporter who had a cat named Norman. Mr. Petcka was enamored with the reporter, and obsessed with earning the cat's affection. He went so far as to journal his progress with the cat. Unfortunately, Norman hated Mr. Petcka. Things culminated with Petcka getting drunk on his girlfriend's booze, threatening to microwave Norman, and eventually kicking the cat to death.
Take a deep breath. Ok. Here's the deal.
Super pretty women and cats are two things in this world that I have little use for. I don't trust them, I don't like being around them, and in the case of cats, I'm allergic to them (pretty women are in fact allergic to me. HA! Thank you! Tip your waittress). I derive a great deal of pleasure from watching beautiful women and cats get taken down a peg or two. Still, this, uh, may have been excessive.
Also, I am not a doctor, but my amateur diagnosis is that Joseph Petcka is completely insane.
In more local news...
LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) - The Lancaster County Sheriff's office found
no crime in an investigation into an alleged threat over a Hickman
horse.
Sergeant Scott Gaston said this evening that a deputy listened
to multiple messages, and that the words weren't criminal.
City Councilman Dave Dykmann says a phone message was left at
city offices Wednesday by a woman threatening to shoot him and the
mayor.
Gaston says while he can't share the message in question, it was
worded differently and the words "weren't criminal."
The person who left the messages was contacted, Gaston said, but
won't face any charges.
Here's an earlier AP story that fills in the details...
LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) - The flap over Peter Rabbit the horse has
turned deadly serious in the small Nebraska town of Hickman.
City Councilman Dave Dykmann says a woman left a phone message
at city offices on Wednesday saying "if I had a gun I'd shoot Dave
Dykmann and the mayor." The woman apparently was upset with the
council's recent decision to uphold its ban on livestock in city
limits and force the 32-year-old horse to leave the pasture where
he was born.
Peter Rabbit's 76-year-old owner, Harley Scott, has said the
horse is too old to move, and the horse remained in the pasture.
Officials have tried to ticket Scott, but Dykmann says the
family seems to have left town.
Harley Scott's son, Jack Scott, declined to comment on Thursday.
For crying out loud, just let nature run its course. The horse will kick the bucket soon enough. How bad would the council look if the horse gets injured or killed in transport? The situation moved one woman far enough to threaten violence, though evidently she did so in a way that 'wasn't criminal.' I'd love to learn how she did that, then I'll start committing crimes in a manner that isn't criminal, too. Hopefully all it will earn me is a stern talking to like she received.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
AP Wrap Up pt 1
And the nominees for male role model of the year are...
Michael Lohan
Roger Clemens
and this guy
GRAND ISLAND, Neb. (AP) - A 23-year-old man accused of daring
his 5-year-old nephew and a friend to sniff pool chlorine now faces
felony charges.
Juan Pablo Andrade-Escobar had been scheduled to go to trial on
two misdemeanor counts of child abuse. But on Tuesday, the counts
were upgraded to felony child abuse.
Officials say Andrade-Escobar opened a canister of pool chlorine
in July and dared his nephew and a 7-year-old friend of the boy to
smell it.
They did and soon vomited.
The 7-year-old recovered quickly. The younger boy was taken to a
local hospital, then to Children's Hospital in Omaha, where he
remained in critical condition for days.
Inhaling a concentrated doses of chlorine gas can be fatal.
Wow... The parents ought to be ashamed for leaving these kids in the care of an obviously retarded man.
In other news, the Jesus Tribe is on the warpath, working themselves into a self righteous lather with their second attempt to outlaw abortion in the otherwise forward thinking center of humanism that is Souf Dakota...
ABERDEEN, S.D. (AP) - The South Dakota Right to Life state
convention features a doctor who used to perform abortions and the
brother of Terri Schiavo (SHY'-voh) as the main speakers.
Schiavo died in 2005 at the age of 41 after a nationwide debate
over her care. She was diagnosed as being in a persistent
vegetative state after her heart stopped in 1990. Her husband
wanted her feeding tube removed against the wishes of her parents.
Schiavo's brother, Bobby Schindler, now runs a center for health
care ethics.
Also set to speak is Dr. Anthony Levatino of New Mexico, who
plans to tell how he ended his practice of performing abortions.
The convention is scheduled for Oct. 11 in Aberdeen.
What tickles me about this is the inclusion of Terry Schiavo's brother. Is this how he makes extra scratch these days? Touring backwater states and capitalizing on his sister's corpse? He runs a center for health care ethics. The funny thing about ethics is that, sometimes, they are subjective. For example, some people think that pulling Schiavo's feeding tube was tantamount to murder. Other people believe that wasting valuable effort, personnel, and equipment on a vegetable so far past the point of possible recovery that her brain was mostly pudding is unethical. Potato Potato I guess.
I'm in a mood to rip the religious today, and thus far my vitriol has been directed towards Christians. Let's do something about that. Muslims are raising a ruckus all over the place from Minnesota to Nebraska...
WILLMAR, Minn. (AP) - Willmar public school officials are
sticking with their original policy on when to allow Somali
students to pray.
Some Somali parents in Willmar had complained that the public
schools weren't allowing their Muslim children to step out of class
for daily prayer. Some didn't send their children to school last
week in protest.
School officials met with a Somali parent to listen to the
concerns but said they're not changing their policy.
Willmar Junior High School Principal Mark Miley says at a
meeting six years ago, Somali families agreed that their children
could pray during lunch time and between periods. Miley says
everyone at that meeting, including parents, agreed that stepping
out during class to pray would be disruptive.
Muslims observe prayer five times a day. This month, during
Ramadan, the midday prayer falls during class, not lunch time.
Christians lost this battle a long time ago. You still hear far right bitching about getting prayer 'back in schools,' which neglects the fact that prayer has never been kicked out of school. If a child wants to stop before a test to petition the Lord for the correct answers, there is nothing, nothing, that can stop them. What is NOT allowed is mandatory prayer and making a spectacle out of yourself, as the religious have been known to do. As I said the Christians capitulated on this front a long time ago. The Muslims will not go down so easily. They have a knack for imposing their will and culture on their new homelands, as the French and Belgians can tell you. We shall see how this one plays out.
In other Muslim news...
OMAHA, Neb. (AP) - A dispute between Muslim workers and
management at the JBS Swift & Co. plant in Grand Island isn't the
first.
The plant had the same problems last year when Muslim workers
sought accommodations to make their sunset prayer. Dozens of
workers in that dispute quit their jobs in protest. They eventually
returned to work.
Local union president Dan Hoppes says the problem was never
fixed last year. That's one of the reasons he says it emerged again
in recent days.
Hoppes says the current contract doesn't expire until 2010. He
is hopeful that next year, everyone might get out ahead of it and
make adjustments before it becomes an issue again.
Seems as though a reasonable accord was reached here.
Now what needs to be addressed is Somali cooking. When I lived in the Cities, I shared apartment buildings with many Somalis and their cooking smells like garbage and it stinks the whole place up constantly.
Michael Lohan
Roger Clemens
and this guy
GRAND ISLAND, Neb. (AP) - A 23-year-old man accused of daring
his 5-year-old nephew and a friend to sniff pool chlorine now faces
felony charges.
Juan Pablo Andrade-Escobar had been scheduled to go to trial on
two misdemeanor counts of child abuse. But on Tuesday, the counts
were upgraded to felony child abuse.
Officials say Andrade-Escobar opened a canister of pool chlorine
in July and dared his nephew and a 7-year-old friend of the boy to
smell it.
They did and soon vomited.
The 7-year-old recovered quickly. The younger boy was taken to a
local hospital, then to Children's Hospital in Omaha, where he
remained in critical condition for days.
Inhaling a concentrated doses of chlorine gas can be fatal.
Wow... The parents ought to be ashamed for leaving these kids in the care of an obviously retarded man.
In other news, the Jesus Tribe is on the warpath, working themselves into a self righteous lather with their second attempt to outlaw abortion in the otherwise forward thinking center of humanism that is Souf Dakota...
ABERDEEN, S.D. (AP) - The South Dakota Right to Life state
convention features a doctor who used to perform abortions and the
brother of Terri Schiavo (SHY'-voh) as the main speakers.
Schiavo died in 2005 at the age of 41 after a nationwide debate
over her care. She was diagnosed as being in a persistent
vegetative state after her heart stopped in 1990. Her husband
wanted her feeding tube removed against the wishes of her parents.
Schiavo's brother, Bobby Schindler, now runs a center for health
care ethics.
Also set to speak is Dr. Anthony Levatino of New Mexico, who
plans to tell how he ended his practice of performing abortions.
The convention is scheduled for Oct. 11 in Aberdeen.
What tickles me about this is the inclusion of Terry Schiavo's brother. Is this how he makes extra scratch these days? Touring backwater states and capitalizing on his sister's corpse? He runs a center for health care ethics. The funny thing about ethics is that, sometimes, they are subjective. For example, some people think that pulling Schiavo's feeding tube was tantamount to murder. Other people believe that wasting valuable effort, personnel, and equipment on a vegetable so far past the point of possible recovery that her brain was mostly pudding is unethical. Potato Potato I guess.
I'm in a mood to rip the religious today, and thus far my vitriol has been directed towards Christians. Let's do something about that. Muslims are raising a ruckus all over the place from Minnesota to Nebraska...
WILLMAR, Minn. (AP) - Willmar public school officials are
sticking with their original policy on when to allow Somali
students to pray.
Some Somali parents in Willmar had complained that the public
schools weren't allowing their Muslim children to step out of class
for daily prayer. Some didn't send their children to school last
week in protest.
School officials met with a Somali parent to listen to the
concerns but said they're not changing their policy.
Willmar Junior High School Principal Mark Miley says at a
meeting six years ago, Somali families agreed that their children
could pray during lunch time and between periods. Miley says
everyone at that meeting, including parents, agreed that stepping
out during class to pray would be disruptive.
Muslims observe prayer five times a day. This month, during
Ramadan, the midday prayer falls during class, not lunch time.
Christians lost this battle a long time ago. You still hear far right bitching about getting prayer 'back in schools,' which neglects the fact that prayer has never been kicked out of school. If a child wants to stop before a test to petition the Lord for the correct answers, there is nothing, nothing, that can stop them. What is NOT allowed is mandatory prayer and making a spectacle out of yourself, as the religious have been known to do. As I said the Christians capitulated on this front a long time ago. The Muslims will not go down so easily. They have a knack for imposing their will and culture on their new homelands, as the French and Belgians can tell you. We shall see how this one plays out.
In other Muslim news...
OMAHA, Neb. (AP) - A dispute between Muslim workers and
management at the JBS Swift & Co. plant in Grand Island isn't the
first.
The plant had the same problems last year when Muslim workers
sought accommodations to make their sunset prayer. Dozens of
workers in that dispute quit their jobs in protest. They eventually
returned to work.
Local union president Dan Hoppes says the problem was never
fixed last year. That's one of the reasons he says it emerged again
in recent days.
Hoppes says the current contract doesn't expire until 2010. He
is hopeful that next year, everyone might get out ahead of it and
make adjustments before it becomes an issue again.
Seems as though a reasonable accord was reached here.
Now what needs to be addressed is Somali cooking. When I lived in the Cities, I shared apartment buildings with many Somalis and their cooking smells like garbage and it stinks the whole place up constantly.
AP Wrap Up pt 2
The AP Wire was an embarrassment yesterday, so we are making up for it today.
WASHINGTON (AP) - An undercover video shot at an Iowa pig farm
shows workers hitting sows with metal rods, slamming piglets on a
concrete floor and other abuse.
In one incident on the video, a supervisor tells an undercover
investigator for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals that
when he gets angry, or a sow won't move, he shoves a rod into the
animal's anus.
The farm, located outside of Bayard, Iowa, is about 60 miles
west of Des Moines. It is a supplier to Hormel Foods of Austin,
Minnesota.
This isn't the full story, the rest is blobbidy blah stuff about what PETA wants done. This story is notable for this line:
"when he gets angry, or a sow won't move, he shoves a rod into the animal's anus."
I bring this up simply because I have enjoyed some success employing a similar tactic when stuck behind slow moving old or fat (or old AND fat) people at the Mall of America.
Moving on...
OMAHA, Neb. (AP) - The 40-year-old victim of a shooting says he
was shot by a man in a wheelchair.
Police say the shooting happened at 1:34 a.m. Wednesday in a
mid-town neighborhood. Police say officers found Patrick Amburn
injured in the street. He told officers he was walking down the
street when he was shot by a man in a wheelchair.
Amburn was take to the hospital with a gunshot wound to his
back. His injuries are not considered life-threatening.
Police have not reported an arrest in the case.
My thoughts on this story are two fold. First, how many gun toting people in wheelchairs can there be in Omaha? Make an arrest, OPD. Second, this reminds me of a quadrapalegic I knew in my home town. He had limited use of his upper extremities and was outfitted with an enormous van so he could get around. That's fine, great, whatever. The problem was he would get drunk and then drive like an absolute maniac on a consistent basis. Not that his behavior was any more aggregious than an able bodied serial drunk driver. It just prompted me to think, "Just because HE doesn't have anything to lose doesn't mean than no one else does either." I considered that perhaps it was a form of paralytic vampirism, a desire to, through his actions, make others like him.
THAT story reminds me of a wretched disney movie in which Frankie Muniz portrayed a kid in a wheel chair who was determined to win some manner of derby race. You know, those unpowered little home made cars that people push down hills and viaducts and the point is to keep your head down and not steer your car into the sidewalk. It was called 'Miracle in Lane 2' (thank you imdb.com).
The term miracle seems excessive to me. All the kid did was not wreck his little car and beat some other little kids to the bottom of the hill. Now, had he gotten out up out of his conveyance and hopped on a unicycle, THAT would have been a miracle. I digress.
The reason I mention it is because at some point Justin Yoder's (Muniz) mother or father or someone says 'If God had wanted everyone to be the same we would have been in wheelchairs.' That's laughable, yet not nearly as strange as one of the movie's closing scenes. I thought the implication was that Justin had died, as he seems to be dreaming of entering heaven, and upon his arrival, everyone has wings and, lo and behold, wheelchairs. This begs an obvious question and has some terrifying implications.
The question is 'If everyone has wings, why do they then also require the wheelchairs. The horrible impications are that:
A. There is a seperate, presumably shittier heaven reserved for the disabled. What, God, you can't give these poor sad fuckers the use of their legs in the afterlife?
OR
B. Immediately upon entry into heaven St. Peter breaks everyone's backs and confines them to an eternity in a wheelchair.
Both are terrible prospects, indeed, until you remember that God is a silly fairy tale.
WASHINGTON (AP) - An undercover video shot at an Iowa pig farm
shows workers hitting sows with metal rods, slamming piglets on a
concrete floor and other abuse.
In one incident on the video, a supervisor tells an undercover
investigator for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals that
when he gets angry, or a sow won't move, he shoves a rod into the
animal's anus.
The farm, located outside of Bayard, Iowa, is about 60 miles
west of Des Moines. It is a supplier to Hormel Foods of Austin,
Minnesota.
This isn't the full story, the rest is blobbidy blah stuff about what PETA wants done. This story is notable for this line:
"when he gets angry, or a sow won't move, he shoves a rod into the animal's anus."
I bring this up simply because I have enjoyed some success employing a similar tactic when stuck behind slow moving old or fat (or old AND fat) people at the Mall of America.
Moving on...
OMAHA, Neb. (AP) - The 40-year-old victim of a shooting says he
was shot by a man in a wheelchair.
Police say the shooting happened at 1:34 a.m. Wednesday in a
mid-town neighborhood. Police say officers found Patrick Amburn
injured in the street. He told officers he was walking down the
street when he was shot by a man in a wheelchair.
Amburn was take to the hospital with a gunshot wound to his
back. His injuries are not considered life-threatening.
Police have not reported an arrest in the case.
My thoughts on this story are two fold. First, how many gun toting people in wheelchairs can there be in Omaha? Make an arrest, OPD. Second, this reminds me of a quadrapalegic I knew in my home town. He had limited use of his upper extremities and was outfitted with an enormous van so he could get around. That's fine, great, whatever. The problem was he would get drunk and then drive like an absolute maniac on a consistent basis. Not that his behavior was any more aggregious than an able bodied serial drunk driver. It just prompted me to think, "Just because HE doesn't have anything to lose doesn't mean than no one else does either." I considered that perhaps it was a form of paralytic vampirism, a desire to, through his actions, make others like him.
THAT story reminds me of a wretched disney movie in which Frankie Muniz portrayed a kid in a wheel chair who was determined to win some manner of derby race. You know, those unpowered little home made cars that people push down hills and viaducts and the point is to keep your head down and not steer your car into the sidewalk. It was called 'Miracle in Lane 2' (thank you imdb.com).
The term miracle seems excessive to me. All the kid did was not wreck his little car and beat some other little kids to the bottom of the hill. Now, had he gotten out up out of his conveyance and hopped on a unicycle, THAT would have been a miracle. I digress.
The reason I mention it is because at some point Justin Yoder's (Muniz) mother or father or someone says 'If God had wanted everyone to be the same we would have been in wheelchairs.' That's laughable, yet not nearly as strange as one of the movie's closing scenes. I thought the implication was that Justin had died, as he seems to be dreaming of entering heaven, and upon his arrival, everyone has wings and, lo and behold, wheelchairs. This begs an obvious question and has some terrifying implications.
The question is 'If everyone has wings, why do they then also require the wheelchairs. The horrible impications are that:
A. There is a seperate, presumably shittier heaven reserved for the disabled. What, God, you can't give these poor sad fuckers the use of their legs in the afterlife?
OR
B. Immediately upon entry into heaven St. Peter breaks everyone's backs and confines them to an eternity in a wheelchair.
Both are terrible prospects, indeed, until you remember that God is a silly fairy tale.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Nikki Sixx Thinks He Invented Rock and Roll
http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2008/09/11/nikki-sixx-miley-cyrus-and-the-jonas-brothers-are-not-rock-roll/
Nikki Sixx, a man who has spent the last 20+ years dressing like a drag queen, believes he has the market cornered on what is and what is not rock and roll. He commends two of the most atrocious bands in history, Papa Roach and Buck Cherry, for living up the the Rock Star monker in both sound and behavior.
About that... Motley Crue, Buck Cherry, and Papa Roach all toured together, which I believe would have been an excellent opportunity to kill them all and many of their mongoloid fans by simply blowing up one of the venues they performed at. A shame it didn't work out.
Everytime someone buys one of those band's records, Uncle Sam and Jesus punch each other in the balls to decry to degeneration of Americans, and the world population in general, into pudding slopping idiots. I digress...
Sixx tells Rolling Stone that he was in a Barnes and Noble (some people might think that is weird... I think it's perfect) and he saw Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers being promoted as 'rock and roll,' which probably upset Mr. Sixx so much that his mascara ran down his face. He said that... I'm not sure how to paraphrase it... I'll quote it:
"... What the fuck is this?’ People are believing that shit that is not rock & roll, is not the rock lifestyle, is rock.”
Two things.
1. No one with pubes would mistake Miley Cyrus or the Jonas Brothers for rock and roll.
2. Who in the hell elected this douche bag the keeper of the flame of Chuck Berry and Elvis?
What if one of the Jonas Brothers got hepatitis, another got fat and whored himself out on reality tv, and another nearly killed himself with heroin, would that be rock and roll enough for Nikki Sixx?
It should also be pointed out that Miley Cyrus has proven more than willing to take self portraits in her underwear that somehow, magically, end up on the internet. That's something at least. She's fuckin' 15. How rock and roll were you when you were 15, you Motley Crue dumbshit?
It should be pointed out that I've never heard a Miley Cyrus song or watched her show. I have heard a Jonas Brothers song, but that's only because my station took a break from it's regular rotation of Daughtry and Slaughter to have the song 'S.O.S.' in heavy rotation when I took this job. It's not like I'm a fan.
It's just that Motley Crue needs to die.
Nikki Sixx, a man who has spent the last 20+ years dressing like a drag queen, believes he has the market cornered on what is and what is not rock and roll. He commends two of the most atrocious bands in history, Papa Roach and Buck Cherry, for living up the the Rock Star monker in both sound and behavior.
About that... Motley Crue, Buck Cherry, and Papa Roach all toured together, which I believe would have been an excellent opportunity to kill them all and many of their mongoloid fans by simply blowing up one of the venues they performed at. A shame it didn't work out.
Everytime someone buys one of those band's records, Uncle Sam and Jesus punch each other in the balls to decry to degeneration of Americans, and the world population in general, into pudding slopping idiots. I digress...
Sixx tells Rolling Stone that he was in a Barnes and Noble (some people might think that is weird... I think it's perfect) and he saw Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers being promoted as 'rock and roll,' which probably upset Mr. Sixx so much that his mascara ran down his face. He said that... I'm not sure how to paraphrase it... I'll quote it:
"... What the fuck is this?’ People are believing that shit that is not rock & roll, is not the rock lifestyle, is rock.”
Two things.
1. No one with pubes would mistake Miley Cyrus or the Jonas Brothers for rock and roll.
2. Who in the hell elected this douche bag the keeper of the flame of Chuck Berry and Elvis?
What if one of the Jonas Brothers got hepatitis, another got fat and whored himself out on reality tv, and another nearly killed himself with heroin, would that be rock and roll enough for Nikki Sixx?
It should also be pointed out that Miley Cyrus has proven more than willing to take self portraits in her underwear that somehow, magically, end up on the internet. That's something at least. She's fuckin' 15. How rock and roll were you when you were 15, you Motley Crue dumbshit?
It should be pointed out that I've never heard a Miley Cyrus song or watched her show. I have heard a Jonas Brothers song, but that's only because my station took a break from it's regular rotation of Daughtry and Slaughter to have the song 'S.O.S.' in heavy rotation when I took this job. It's not like I'm a fan.
It's just that Motley Crue needs to die.
Why the Hell Does this Station Play So Much Slaughter?
If there is a radio station in America giving heavier rotation to Slaughter and BB Mak than the one I work at, I'll eat my fuckin' shoe.
Last Thursday marked the Anniversary of, uh... what was it? Oh yeah, the terror attacks. Governor Mike Rounds called for Souf Dakotans to remain 'vigilant,' what ever the hell that means. Seriously, I want to know what he means by that. Here is a my dramatic representation of what 'vigilance' in Souf Dakota means...
911 Operator: 9-1-1, what the is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: Uhhhhh, this here is Randy Sabotka, I was jis in town at the diner, en I seen me one uh them Al Qaidas.
911 Operator: What makes you say you saw a terrorist, sir?
Caller: Well, uh, he, uh... he weren't white.
911 Operator: Holy Ass! I'll call for the National Guard!
I have no idea how to be extra 'vigilant.' Spy on my neighbors? Go through their mail? I'm willing to do that, I just need to know that is what's expected.
In other Souf Dakota news, from the AP...
ABERDEEN, S.D. (AP) - A Groton woman, Betty Breck, has asked the South Dakota Open Meetings Commission to decide whether the Brown County Commission violated the state open meetings law.She says the county did not properly post the agenda to Tuesday's meeting at least 24 hours in advance.Breck says she went to the courthouse shortly after 6 p.m. Monday and saw a blank piece of paper taped on an inside window, which is where the agenda usually is posted.State's Attorney Kimberly Dorsett says there's a simple explanation: The agenda was inadvertently taped backwards.The Open Meetings Commission monitors possible infractions and can issue reprimands. Breck has filed other complaints with the panel since it was formed in 2004.
The headline for this article should have been 'Lonely Old Cat Woman Needs to Find Something Constructive to Do.' The last sentence of the article tells me all I need to know about one Betty Breck. She:
Has no kids
Owns at least 6 cats and dresses them up in little outfits that no one else sees
Wears sweaters, even in July
and lastly
She is one of those annoying busy bodies that seem to be in an endless supply in small towns. She makes trouble with this 'Open Meetings Committee' to feel important. Hell, she does it to not feel bored.
It could be worse. She could be slapping her genitals against church windows.
Last Thursday marked the Anniversary of, uh... what was it? Oh yeah, the terror attacks. Governor Mike Rounds called for Souf Dakotans to remain 'vigilant,' what ever the hell that means. Seriously, I want to know what he means by that. Here is a my dramatic representation of what 'vigilance' in Souf Dakota means...
911 Operator: 9-1-1, what the is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: Uhhhhh, this here is Randy Sabotka, I was jis in town at the diner, en I seen me one uh them Al Qaidas.
911 Operator: What makes you say you saw a terrorist, sir?
Caller: Well, uh, he, uh... he weren't white.
911 Operator: Holy Ass! I'll call for the National Guard!
I have no idea how to be extra 'vigilant.' Spy on my neighbors? Go through their mail? I'm willing to do that, I just need to know that is what's expected.
In other Souf Dakota news, from the AP...
ABERDEEN, S.D. (AP) - A Groton woman, Betty Breck, has asked the South Dakota Open Meetings Commission to decide whether the Brown County Commission violated the state open meetings law.She says the county did not properly post the agenda to Tuesday's meeting at least 24 hours in advance.Breck says she went to the courthouse shortly after 6 p.m. Monday and saw a blank piece of paper taped on an inside window, which is where the agenda usually is posted.State's Attorney Kimberly Dorsett says there's a simple explanation: The agenda was inadvertently taped backwards.The Open Meetings Commission monitors possible infractions and can issue reprimands. Breck has filed other complaints with the panel since it was formed in 2004.
The headline for this article should have been 'Lonely Old Cat Woman Needs to Find Something Constructive to Do.' The last sentence of the article tells me all I need to know about one Betty Breck. She:
Has no kids
Owns at least 6 cats and dresses them up in little outfits that no one else sees
Wears sweaters, even in July
and lastly
She is one of those annoying busy bodies that seem to be in an endless supply in small towns. She makes trouble with this 'Open Meetings Committee' to feel important. Hell, she does it to not feel bored.
It could be worse. She could be slapping her genitals against church windows.
Yeah, I Had Fun in High School Too, Lady, but...
http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5ipppcZU-H4xC9lQiAOQFSF-cfrdAD935H3G80
It's never too late to teach an old Sconnie new tricks. That's what Wendy Brown of Green Bay set out ot prove when she enrolled in high school and joined the cheerleading squad. Here's the problem...
Brown is 33 years old and she enrolled under the identity of her daughter, who lives with her grandmother in Nevada.
WHOOPS.
Click on the link and examine the woman's picture. That is the most haggard looking 16 year old cheerleader I've ever seen. Maybe she looks better with make up. Who knows.
She attended cheer practices prior to the start of the school year, was given a cheerleader's locker, and attended a pool party at the coach's house. That a 33 year old mother could pull off a cheerleaders body is surprising.
Of course, this IS Wisconsin we are talking about. Perhaps it's par for the course for the cheerleaders to have stretch marks and breasts that hang down to their thighs.
It's never too late to teach an old Sconnie new tricks. That's what Wendy Brown of Green Bay set out ot prove when she enrolled in high school and joined the cheerleading squad. Here's the problem...
Brown is 33 years old and she enrolled under the identity of her daughter, who lives with her grandmother in Nevada.
WHOOPS.
Click on the link and examine the woman's picture. That is the most haggard looking 16 year old cheerleader I've ever seen. Maybe she looks better with make up. Who knows.
She attended cheer practices prior to the start of the school year, was given a cheerleader's locker, and attended a pool party at the coach's house. That a 33 year old mother could pull off a cheerleaders body is surprising.
Of course, this IS Wisconsin we are talking about. Perhaps it's par for the course for the cheerleaders to have stretch marks and breasts that hang down to their thighs.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
The "Butt Bandit": Hero of the Norf Central Nebraska Underground
I am shamed beyond expression that I missed this on the AP earlier today. It's in my own backyard, for crying out loud. Valentine, NE is an hour drive from my lonely outpost in Souf Central Souf Dakota. Here's the story:
VALENTINE, Neb. (AP) - Boy, how people in this town wish their
busiest vandal would find another way to make his mark.
The imprint he's left on the town has exposed way too much.
Some man has been skipping from one business to another in the
dark of the night, plastering his naked behind, and groin, on
windows.
It's easy to tell.
Store owners, church employees and school janitors have had to
wash Vaseline and lotion off the windows he strikes.
Police Chief Ben McBride says it's the strangest crime he's ever
seen. People who have seen the imprints laugh and cringe at the
same time.
Residents thought the so-called "Butt Bandit" was done using
his strange brand of graffiti months ago.
But he struck again in the past couple of weeks.
I can't believe he's back! This story popped up some months ago and then disappeared.
There may be some among you who think that the "Butt Bandit" is a terrorist, only instead of using bombs and rifles, he puts vaseline on his ass and penis and slaps them against business windows. I can see that, sort of. I spent many years in the 'peon' role in a string of mediocre jobs, exactly the kind of position that would require me to clean 'penis-line' off a window should the need arise (once vaseline is applied to the genitals it is no longer vaseline, it is penis-line. Perhaps you thought I'd go with the more obvious pun of 'ass-aline.' Sorry. I hold myself to a higher standard than that. Additionally, even at age 26 I get endless kicks out of seeing the word penis in print and will use it as often as I can...
penis.)
It must royally suck to show up to your $6.25 an hour job and be told the first thing you have to do is clean that shit off the window. However, that is simply a necessary sacrifice. It's not that I'm not a peon anymore, I definitely am. However, I'm a peon with a college degree. You can't make someone with a degree clean up penis-line. So, perhaps I am an Uncle Tom to the working poor. Still, I think the 'Butt Bandit' is a hero.
He is a shining example of what lengths people have to go to in this area to have a good time. If the 'BB' lived in a larger city, he might have some options. He could go to a theme park. He could go to a ball game. He could go to a concert. He could go to an art museum. He could do any number of things.
Here? He's got two choices. Get drunk at the bar or lube himself up and splay his ass and genitals on business windows. OR in what is likely the case, get drunk at the bar AND THEN lube himself up and splay his ass and genitals on business's windows.
Everyone here has this same choice. The 'BB' is the only one with the courage, the vision, to choose the latter.
That's why I hope they never catch him. In fact, I propose that the city of Valentine be provided with a patterned spot light, a la Batman, only with a weiner instead of a bat. Every night the police commissioner could fire it up as a way to, as Jim Gordon would say, "remind people that's he's out there."
Hopefully, there's a little bit of 'Butt Bandit' in you and me. Not too much, though. That guy is batshit nuts.
VALENTINE, Neb. (AP) - Boy, how people in this town wish their
busiest vandal would find another way to make his mark.
The imprint he's left on the town has exposed way too much.
Some man has been skipping from one business to another in the
dark of the night, plastering his naked behind, and groin, on
windows.
It's easy to tell.
Store owners, church employees and school janitors have had to
wash Vaseline and lotion off the windows he strikes.
Police Chief Ben McBride says it's the strangest crime he's ever
seen. People who have seen the imprints laugh and cringe at the
same time.
Residents thought the so-called "Butt Bandit" was done using
his strange brand of graffiti months ago.
But he struck again in the past couple of weeks.
I can't believe he's back! This story popped up some months ago and then disappeared.
There may be some among you who think that the "Butt Bandit" is a terrorist, only instead of using bombs and rifles, he puts vaseline on his ass and penis and slaps them against business windows. I can see that, sort of. I spent many years in the 'peon' role in a string of mediocre jobs, exactly the kind of position that would require me to clean 'penis-line' off a window should the need arise (once vaseline is applied to the genitals it is no longer vaseline, it is penis-line. Perhaps you thought I'd go with the more obvious pun of 'ass-aline.' Sorry. I hold myself to a higher standard than that. Additionally, even at age 26 I get endless kicks out of seeing the word penis in print and will use it as often as I can...
penis.)
It must royally suck to show up to your $6.25 an hour job and be told the first thing you have to do is clean that shit off the window. However, that is simply a necessary sacrifice. It's not that I'm not a peon anymore, I definitely am. However, I'm a peon with a college degree. You can't make someone with a degree clean up penis-line. So, perhaps I am an Uncle Tom to the working poor. Still, I think the 'Butt Bandit' is a hero.
He is a shining example of what lengths people have to go to in this area to have a good time. If the 'BB' lived in a larger city, he might have some options. He could go to a theme park. He could go to a ball game. He could go to a concert. He could go to an art museum. He could do any number of things.
Here? He's got two choices. Get drunk at the bar or lube himself up and splay his ass and genitals on business windows. OR in what is likely the case, get drunk at the bar AND THEN lube himself up and splay his ass and genitals on business's windows.
Everyone here has this same choice. The 'BB' is the only one with the courage, the vision, to choose the latter.
That's why I hope they never catch him. In fact, I propose that the city of Valentine be provided with a patterned spot light, a la Batman, only with a weiner instead of a bat. Every night the police commissioner could fire it up as a way to, as Jim Gordon would say, "remind people that's he's out there."
Hopefully, there's a little bit of 'Butt Bandit' in you and me. Not too much, though. That guy is batshit nuts.
What's the Deal With Nebraska and the Kiddie Porn?
The AP featured two child porn related stories tonight. Here's the second...
OMAHA, Neb. (AP) - Lincoln police say they found 28,000 images
of child pornography on a man's computer.
The 31-year-old Lincoln man was arrested Wednesday on suspicion
of visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct.
Police say two women tipped police off to the images when they
accidentally found them on the man's computer.
The women contacted police, who served a search warrant at the
apartment and found the images.
Two things.
1. I don't think it's funny that the guy had child porn on his computer. I think it's funny that he 2-8-0-0-0 images of child porn on his computer. He must have been one masturbatin' mutha fucka. Jesus Christ, buddy.
2. How did the two women 'accidentally' find the porn on his computer? Were they trying to find minesweeper?
I certainly hope there's a follow up story.
OMAHA, Neb. (AP) - Lincoln police say they found 28,000 images
of child pornography on a man's computer.
The 31-year-old Lincoln man was arrested Wednesday on suspicion
of visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct.
Police say two women tipped police off to the images when they
accidentally found them on the man's computer.
The women contacted police, who served a search warrant at the
apartment and found the images.
Two things.
1. I don't think it's funny that the guy had child porn on his computer. I think it's funny that he 2-8-0-0-0 images of child porn on his computer. He must have been one masturbatin' mutha fucka. Jesus Christ, buddy.
2. How did the two women 'accidentally' find the porn on his computer? Were they trying to find minesweeper?
I certainly hope there's a follow up story.
Give the Pedophile His Porn Back?
More news-y goodness from the AP
CHADRON, Neb. (AP) - A western Nebraska judge must decide
whether to return pornography to a convicted sex offender who says
the state has no right to keep it.
William Wilson is serving a probation sentence after being
convicted in a case in which he was accused of propositioning two
14-year-old boys. Wilson has made a legal motion to have his
computer, cell phone, pornographic videos and digital camera
returned to him, as they are no longer needed for evidence.
The state says it wants to keep pictures taken from the cell
phone, camera and computer because they might be child pornography.
Wilson's attorney says there is no proof of that and has
demanded the return of all the items.
District Judge Randy Lippstreu will rule on the request.
Here's a link to a slightly more detailed story write up than what the AP offered...
http://www.kneb.com/news/index/f3b0f058-9616-41e0-86c4-db2d85bfc3d3
The second story is pretty much the same with the added details that the judge may not have granted Wilson probation had he known about the nature of the pics on Wilson's phone, pc, et all, that the state worries that returning Wilson's pervy collection may inhibit his recovery, and the revelation that the phone contains sexually charged text messages to and from a 17 year old Souf Dakota boy.
My question is, how long has the state had Wilson's stuff? I would assume it has been a fair amount of time, as he has already been tried and sentenced. Even if he pleaded out and skipped the trial, it's probably been several months.
Without all the details I feel like if the guy has been sentenced and is paying for the crimes, they ought to give him his shit back. There's probably more to it than that, though.
Here's my other question, if the police are investigating you, what typically happens to the things they seize? How long are they entitled to use said items against you? Is there different protocal if someone is never charged or is aqcuited than if they are found guilty? It's hard to tell since police and federal investigative powers have become nearly limitless due to the Patriot Act.
Something to ponder on September 11th, I guess. More later.
CHADRON, Neb. (AP) - A western Nebraska judge must decide
whether to return pornography to a convicted sex offender who says
the state has no right to keep it.
William Wilson is serving a probation sentence after being
convicted in a case in which he was accused of propositioning two
14-year-old boys. Wilson has made a legal motion to have his
computer, cell phone, pornographic videos and digital camera
returned to him, as they are no longer needed for evidence.
The state says it wants to keep pictures taken from the cell
phone, camera and computer because they might be child pornography.
Wilson's attorney says there is no proof of that and has
demanded the return of all the items.
District Judge Randy Lippstreu will rule on the request.
Here's a link to a slightly more detailed story write up than what the AP offered...
http://www.kneb.com/news/index/f3b0f058-9616-41e0-86c4-db2d85bfc3d3
The second story is pretty much the same with the added details that the judge may not have granted Wilson probation had he known about the nature of the pics on Wilson's phone, pc, et all, that the state worries that returning Wilson's pervy collection may inhibit his recovery, and the revelation that the phone contains sexually charged text messages to and from a 17 year old Souf Dakota boy.
My question is, how long has the state had Wilson's stuff? I would assume it has been a fair amount of time, as he has already been tried and sentenced. Even if he pleaded out and skipped the trial, it's probably been several months.
Without all the details I feel like if the guy has been sentenced and is paying for the crimes, they ought to give him his shit back. There's probably more to it than that, though.
Here's my other question, if the police are investigating you, what typically happens to the things they seize? How long are they entitled to use said items against you? Is there different protocal if someone is never charged or is aqcuited than if they are found guilty? It's hard to tell since police and federal investigative powers have become nearly limitless due to the Patriot Act.
Something to ponder on September 11th, I guess. More later.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Does Anything Surprise Me Anymore?
Yes.
Buuuuuuuuut this doesn't.
http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/Story?id=5772215&page=1
Could these jokers have possibly raped the integrity of the positions any more than they have? Could they have betrayed the public trust more completely than they have since 2000?
Probably.
They still have a few more months to try and could get "FOUR MORE YEARS! FOUR MORE YEARS!" if cancer face and the creationist soccer mom take the White House.
Buuuuuuuuut this doesn't.
http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/Story?id=5772215&page=1
Could these jokers have possibly raped the integrity of the positions any more than they have? Could they have betrayed the public trust more completely than they have since 2000?
Probably.
They still have a few more months to try and could get "FOUR MORE YEARS! FOUR MORE YEARS!" if cancer face and the creationist soccer mom take the White House.
The World Hates a Bald Man, Even if He's 13 and Also Has No Toenails or Fingernails Either
http://www.parentdish.com/2008/09/09/dress-code-violation-bald-kid-told-to-lose-the-hat/?icid=100214839x1209338633x1200512078
Consider if you will the strange case of one Dale Platts, age 13, resident of the United Kingdom and current (maybe) student at Robert Pattinson School.
Dale was on the barrel end of a nasty bronchitis attack when he was but an infant. This has left his with an immune system disorder called alopecia universalis. Dale's body is completely devoid of hair, and he has no fingernails or toenails either, which is incidentally one of the weirdest things I've ever heard of. Not that I'd point that out to him, but still... WOW.
Anyhoo anyhow, since Dale has been afflicted nearly his entire life, his bare pate didn't bother him. Until, of course, he hit middle school and (cue the afterschool special music) the bullying started.
Is there a more heartless, nasty, and vile creature on the planet than a middle school student? Personally, I had one hell of a hard time getting through those years, and I had my fingernails intact.
So, Dale gets tired of the constant insults and humiliation and begins wearing a baseball hat at all times.
A brief aside... I was unaware they had baseball hats in the UK. Do they call them baseball hats? I digress.
Whu-oh, the infallible supreme commanders of Robert Pattinson School determine that the ball cap doesn't dovetail with the school's dress code policy. They offered Dale two alternatives: a woolen beanie cap, which the boy claims gave him irritating rashes, and the opportunity to be schooled in isolation.
The first day of school arrives, Dale shows up in his ball cap, and is promptly sent home. He hasn't been back.
I could decry the complete and utter lack of compassion and common sense on the part of the jackoffs running the school. I could bemoan the tragedy of a young boy, helpless when it comes to his appearance, and how he is subjected to the barbs of insecure little assholes. I won't, though.
Instead I'll say that Dale is in for a long life as a freak, and his bastard classmates and the douche bags running the school are doing him a favor. Human beings have very little tolerance for any thing that can be pereived as 'different' and young Dale is well served to have this made clear at an early age.
It's not all bad news. Here's some reasons Dale should be thankful he's weird.
1. Some women find bald men to be incredibly sexually alluring, and if he wears a long leather coat he can look like some sort of futuristic badass.
2. His lack of pubic hair will make his junk appear to be much larger than it actually is. Most men have to dedicate a lot of time to earn that same effect.
3. Even though he is British and probably has terrible teeth, they probably aren't as bad as many of the muthafuckas I see every day around here in Souf Dakota. I'm not kidding, people around here have the most nightmarish smiles I've ever seen.
So buck up Dale, you poor limey hairless goof ball.
Could be worse.
Consider if you will the strange case of one Dale Platts, age 13, resident of the United Kingdom and current (maybe) student at Robert Pattinson School.
Dale was on the barrel end of a nasty bronchitis attack when he was but an infant. This has left his with an immune system disorder called alopecia universalis. Dale's body is completely devoid of hair, and he has no fingernails or toenails either, which is incidentally one of the weirdest things I've ever heard of. Not that I'd point that out to him, but still... WOW.
Anyhoo anyhow, since Dale has been afflicted nearly his entire life, his bare pate didn't bother him. Until, of course, he hit middle school and (cue the afterschool special music) the bullying started.
Is there a more heartless, nasty, and vile creature on the planet than a middle school student? Personally, I had one hell of a hard time getting through those years, and I had my fingernails intact.
So, Dale gets tired of the constant insults and humiliation and begins wearing a baseball hat at all times.
A brief aside... I was unaware they had baseball hats in the UK. Do they call them baseball hats? I digress.
Whu-oh, the infallible supreme commanders of Robert Pattinson School determine that the ball cap doesn't dovetail with the school's dress code policy. They offered Dale two alternatives: a woolen beanie cap, which the boy claims gave him irritating rashes, and the opportunity to be schooled in isolation.
The first day of school arrives, Dale shows up in his ball cap, and is promptly sent home. He hasn't been back.
I could decry the complete and utter lack of compassion and common sense on the part of the jackoffs running the school. I could bemoan the tragedy of a young boy, helpless when it comes to his appearance, and how he is subjected to the barbs of insecure little assholes. I won't, though.
Instead I'll say that Dale is in for a long life as a freak, and his bastard classmates and the douche bags running the school are doing him a favor. Human beings have very little tolerance for any thing that can be pereived as 'different' and young Dale is well served to have this made clear at an early age.
It's not all bad news. Here's some reasons Dale should be thankful he's weird.
1. Some women find bald men to be incredibly sexually alluring, and if he wears a long leather coat he can look like some sort of futuristic badass.
2. His lack of pubic hair will make his junk appear to be much larger than it actually is. Most men have to dedicate a lot of time to earn that same effect.
3. Even though he is British and probably has terrible teeth, they probably aren't as bad as many of the muthafuckas I see every day around here in Souf Dakota. I'm not kidding, people around here have the most nightmarish smiles I've ever seen.
So buck up Dale, you poor limey hairless goof ball.
Could be worse.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
There's a Reason People Don't Live in the Woods/Desert/Swamp Anymore
It's because you will fuckin' die out there. Want evidence? Here you go...
http://msn.foxsports.com/boxing/story/8541780
Evan Tanner... DEAD! Who's Evan Tanner? He's a fighter, having gained some fame for his work in the UFC. That's not really important, other than Mr. Tanner was one of those people who liked to wander out in to the middle of nowhere as if such excursions build character or piddly nonsense like that.
I live in a town where parts of 'Into the Wild' were filmed. That's the movie of a spoiled rich twat deciding to eschew his privilidged life in favor of wandering the country trying to find himself. Sounds nice, huh? Yeah, he starved to death up in Alaska.
There are a lot of people around here who share his attitude, if not his dedication. They spend time camping or hunting or fishing, which is fine, I'd like to take up a little hunting myself this fall.
What I can't understand is why people want to go backward instead of forward. They like to pretend that 50, 60, 100, 200 years ago life was simpler. Not only simpler, but better. How is that, exactly? Is it so terrible that you don't have to worry about starving to death, that instead you can go to a grocery store? How is that bad?
If life was more simple years ago it was simply because people and ideas were more isolated than they are today. That's why people have to put so much effort into shutting themselves out and off. Here's what I mean... people try to simplify things by blocking out the changing realities of this country by clinging to lifestyles and thought processes that have become anitquated.
No one else, at least no developed country, is as backwards when it comes to religion and religious thought as this country. Why we are still having the evolution discussion is difficult to understand. I know I can't.
I believe Sarah Palin is a creationist. That is, she thinks Jesus and his dad created Adam and Eve out of dirt 6000 years ago and we all descend from them. That, of course, is criminally stupid and also insane. Why is it so difficult for Americans to accept that humans are simply a product of evolution? Not only that, but the highest form of life in the evolutionary chain. That's a GOOD thing, god dammit.
There's a lot of people who think like the potential vice president does. It seems like many of these troglodytes live around here.
We've got to become better than this. The United States is being surpassed in almost every aspect by nations that used to look to the United States as a model. They aren't doing that anymore, I can assure you. Why would they? A large portion of our population hasn't progressed from a cold war mind set, for shit's sake. People still believe that the rest of the world looks to us for protection and guidance from the barbarians.
That is bullshit. The rest of the world is more than happy to take our money, or in some cases, loan us money, but beyond that they have no use for American ideals. Again, why would they? This is a natural result of electing a string of well dressed chimpanzees to the presidency since the mid 70's. America's last competant president may well have been Richard Nixon. Do you realize the terrible implications of that statement? Richard Nixon continually wiped his ass with the constitution and any notion of executive restraint, and he was probably the last worthwhile leader this nation has had.
How can we take the point for the rest of the world when we've no one to take the point for us? There is no good reason that the U.S. should NOT be leading the pack in development of renewable energy and stem cell research, yet we aren't. NO on the renewable energy because big oil co-owns the government along with the pharmaceutical industry, and NO on stem cell research because it offends Jesus.
So, how do things get better?
They won't. People will still go to church and go camping in order to preserve the fictional 'good ol' days.'
http://msn.foxsports.com/boxing/story/8541780
Evan Tanner... DEAD! Who's Evan Tanner? He's a fighter, having gained some fame for his work in the UFC. That's not really important, other than Mr. Tanner was one of those people who liked to wander out in to the middle of nowhere as if such excursions build character or piddly nonsense like that.
I live in a town where parts of 'Into the Wild' were filmed. That's the movie of a spoiled rich twat deciding to eschew his privilidged life in favor of wandering the country trying to find himself. Sounds nice, huh? Yeah, he starved to death up in Alaska.
There are a lot of people around here who share his attitude, if not his dedication. They spend time camping or hunting or fishing, which is fine, I'd like to take up a little hunting myself this fall.
What I can't understand is why people want to go backward instead of forward. They like to pretend that 50, 60, 100, 200 years ago life was simpler. Not only simpler, but better. How is that, exactly? Is it so terrible that you don't have to worry about starving to death, that instead you can go to a grocery store? How is that bad?
If life was more simple years ago it was simply because people and ideas were more isolated than they are today. That's why people have to put so much effort into shutting themselves out and off. Here's what I mean... people try to simplify things by blocking out the changing realities of this country by clinging to lifestyles and thought processes that have become anitquated.
No one else, at least no developed country, is as backwards when it comes to religion and religious thought as this country. Why we are still having the evolution discussion is difficult to understand. I know I can't.
I believe Sarah Palin is a creationist. That is, she thinks Jesus and his dad created Adam and Eve out of dirt 6000 years ago and we all descend from them. That, of course, is criminally stupid and also insane. Why is it so difficult for Americans to accept that humans are simply a product of evolution? Not only that, but the highest form of life in the evolutionary chain. That's a GOOD thing, god dammit.
There's a lot of people who think like the potential vice president does. It seems like many of these troglodytes live around here.
We've got to become better than this. The United States is being surpassed in almost every aspect by nations that used to look to the United States as a model. They aren't doing that anymore, I can assure you. Why would they? A large portion of our population hasn't progressed from a cold war mind set, for shit's sake. People still believe that the rest of the world looks to us for protection and guidance from the barbarians.
That is bullshit. The rest of the world is more than happy to take our money, or in some cases, loan us money, but beyond that they have no use for American ideals. Again, why would they? This is a natural result of electing a string of well dressed chimpanzees to the presidency since the mid 70's. America's last competant president may well have been Richard Nixon. Do you realize the terrible implications of that statement? Richard Nixon continually wiped his ass with the constitution and any notion of executive restraint, and he was probably the last worthwhile leader this nation has had.
How can we take the point for the rest of the world when we've no one to take the point for us? There is no good reason that the U.S. should NOT be leading the pack in development of renewable energy and stem cell research, yet we aren't. NO on the renewable energy because big oil co-owns the government along with the pharmaceutical industry, and NO on stem cell research because it offends Jesus.
So, how do things get better?
They won't. People will still go to church and go camping in order to preserve the fictional 'good ol' days.'
ESPN Wants To Put an Illegal Immigrant in Your Bedroom
The broadcast crew that ESPN clapped together for last night's Broncos/Raiders was an abomination. greenberg, golic, and ditka. Yikes. Hey, I love those old SNL skits with the Superfans as much as anybody does. That, however, is about as much use as I can muster for the Coach Ditka. As for the two clowns from the morning show, greenberg is... adequate. Not a bad play by play man, to be honest.
Mike Golic is another matter, completely. Perhaps the biggest mook currently involved with sports, he opines with the grace and subtlety of a bull in a china shop. He, combined with the devilish Skip Bayless, are the physical embodiment of what ESPN has become. He's not like Kornheiser, who is simply overmatched by the position he's in. No, Golic is quite another animal, and I was sick of his commentary almost immediately.
Speaking of the game, my Broncos look like they are going to score and score frequently. The defense did a good job of keeping the Raiders' pathetic offense out of the endzone, though it should be noted that the Broncos run defense (30th last year... 30th) still allowed both Justin Fargas and Darren McFadden to average over 5 ypc.
It didn't hurt the team too badly last night, but is there another franchise in the NFL that handles the return games as poorly as the Broncos? I can't remember a kick returned for a touch down since I became a fan back in 1995. Not one. I'm sure it's happened at least once, but damn if I can remember it. On the other side of the coin, the Broncos have been beaten almost singlehandedly by good return men in recent years (see Hall, Dante and Hester, Devin).
Like I said earlier, this Denver Offense looks sharp. Eddie Royal is an absolute prince, and while it's hard to get excited by any of the raft of running backs the Broncos put out there, they are competant enough to keep the pressure off Jay Cutler. With the expected return of Brandon Marshall, combined with Royal's emergence and the presence of Brandon Stokely, Darrell Jackson, Daniel Graham, Tony Scheffler, and Nate Jackson, Cutler has the best group of targets I can remember in Denver uniforms. I stand by my prediction of a Broncos playoff run.
As for the Raiders, they remain so pathetic that even though they always have been (and remain) my least favorite NFL team, it's hard for me to get any sort of satisfaction from their continued suckiness. It's not fun, or funny, anymore. Frankly, it hasn't been much of a rivalry since Shanahan came to Denver (rivalries work best if both teams win once in awhile).
If I hear one more time what a great athlete Jamarcus Russell is, I don't know what I'm going to do. The man is overweight. He has the physique of a plumber. When your quarterback has a worse body than Sebastian Janikowski, your franchise isn't going anywhere.
Didn't I read that Russell spent his offseason lounging around and ballooned up to 3 bills? Wow.
I know the troglodytes in Raiduh nation probably can't wait for Javon Walker to get healthy, and I, for one, agree with them. The sooner he's healthy the sooner he can start complaining. With a highly paid quarterback spending his offseason eating chilidogs and a highly paid wide receiver spending his getting the ass kicked out of him at nightclubs, the Silver and Black's return to the NFL's elite seems inevitable, does it not?
ESPN really out did themselves with the self promotion last night. Sign up for this service, get a text message update from your favorite ESPN personality! Sign up for this other service, get scores sent to you via e-mail the absolute second the game ends!
ESPN will not stop until they are allowed to put a man inside your house 24 hours a day. Knowing the dearth of eithics and integrity in Bristol, that man will probably be an illegal immigrant making a buck and a quarter a day. So, by 2012 look forward to getting woken up in the middle of the night with "Senor, the Brett Favre thinks he may want to play another season."
Mike Golic is another matter, completely. Perhaps the biggest mook currently involved with sports, he opines with the grace and subtlety of a bull in a china shop. He, combined with the devilish Skip Bayless, are the physical embodiment of what ESPN has become. He's not like Kornheiser, who is simply overmatched by the position he's in. No, Golic is quite another animal, and I was sick of his commentary almost immediately.
Speaking of the game, my Broncos look like they are going to score and score frequently. The defense did a good job of keeping the Raiders' pathetic offense out of the endzone, though it should be noted that the Broncos run defense (30th last year... 30th) still allowed both Justin Fargas and Darren McFadden to average over 5 ypc.
It didn't hurt the team too badly last night, but is there another franchise in the NFL that handles the return games as poorly as the Broncos? I can't remember a kick returned for a touch down since I became a fan back in 1995. Not one. I'm sure it's happened at least once, but damn if I can remember it. On the other side of the coin, the Broncos have been beaten almost singlehandedly by good return men in recent years (see Hall, Dante and Hester, Devin).
Like I said earlier, this Denver Offense looks sharp. Eddie Royal is an absolute prince, and while it's hard to get excited by any of the raft of running backs the Broncos put out there, they are competant enough to keep the pressure off Jay Cutler. With the expected return of Brandon Marshall, combined with Royal's emergence and the presence of Brandon Stokely, Darrell Jackson, Daniel Graham, Tony Scheffler, and Nate Jackson, Cutler has the best group of targets I can remember in Denver uniforms. I stand by my prediction of a Broncos playoff run.
As for the Raiders, they remain so pathetic that even though they always have been (and remain) my least favorite NFL team, it's hard for me to get any sort of satisfaction from their continued suckiness. It's not fun, or funny, anymore. Frankly, it hasn't been much of a rivalry since Shanahan came to Denver (rivalries work best if both teams win once in awhile).
If I hear one more time what a great athlete Jamarcus Russell is, I don't know what I'm going to do. The man is overweight. He has the physique of a plumber. When your quarterback has a worse body than Sebastian Janikowski, your franchise isn't going anywhere.
Didn't I read that Russell spent his offseason lounging around and ballooned up to 3 bills? Wow.
I know the troglodytes in Raiduh nation probably can't wait for Javon Walker to get healthy, and I, for one, agree with them. The sooner he's healthy the sooner he can start complaining. With a highly paid quarterback spending his offseason eating chilidogs and a highly paid wide receiver spending his getting the ass kicked out of him at nightclubs, the Silver and Black's return to the NFL's elite seems inevitable, does it not?
ESPN really out did themselves with the self promotion last night. Sign up for this service, get a text message update from your favorite ESPN personality! Sign up for this other service, get scores sent to you via e-mail the absolute second the game ends!
ESPN will not stop until they are allowed to put a man inside your house 24 hours a day. Knowing the dearth of eithics and integrity in Bristol, that man will probably be an illegal immigrant making a buck and a quarter a day. So, by 2012 look forward to getting woken up in the middle of the night with "Senor, the Brett Favre thinks he may want to play another season."
Monday, September 8, 2008
It gets funny after awhile
One of the best perks of working at a radio station is free, unlimited access to the AP. This just came in.
WASHINGTON (AP) - A half-million American Indian plaintiffs are
appealing a federal judge's recent decision to award them much less
than they wanted in a long-running trust case.
The judge, in Washington, ruled the plaintiffs are entitled to
$455 million -- a fraction of the $47 billion they sought.
The 12-year-old suit says the Indians were swindled out of
billions of dollars in oil, gas, grazing, timber and other
royalties overseen by the Interior Department since 1887.
At issue was how much of the royalty money was withheld from
them over the years and whether it was held in the U.S. treasury at
a benefit to the government. The federal judge said the plaintiffs
did not successfully argue that it was.
Many of the records have been lost or destroyed over the years.
The Indians' appeal was scheduled to be filed today.
---
Will this get any play outside of Souf Dakota? Will it get any play IN Souf Dakota?
I read it on the afternoon news.
My white guilt is assuaged for yet another day.
WASHINGTON (AP) - A half-million American Indian plaintiffs are
appealing a federal judge's recent decision to award them much less
than they wanted in a long-running trust case.
The judge, in Washington, ruled the plaintiffs are entitled to
$455 million -- a fraction of the $47 billion they sought.
The 12-year-old suit says the Indians were swindled out of
billions of dollars in oil, gas, grazing, timber and other
royalties overseen by the Interior Department since 1887.
At issue was how much of the royalty money was withheld from
them over the years and whether it was held in the U.S. treasury at
a benefit to the government. The federal judge said the plaintiffs
did not successfully argue that it was.
Many of the records have been lost or destroyed over the years.
The Indians' appeal was scheduled to be filed today.
---
Will this get any play outside of Souf Dakota? Will it get any play IN Souf Dakota?
I read it on the afternoon news.
My white guilt is assuaged for yet another day.
Today... I stand against the Tickle Monster
http://www.parentdish.com/2008/09/07/tickle-monster-banned-from-park?icid=100214839x1208729170x1200511154
It came to my attention today that lawyer Charles R. Douglas, a self appointed 'Tickle Monster,' has been banned from a park in Illinois. Mr. Douglas had a habit of asking parents if he could tickle their children. It landed him in court.
Quoth the story-
"The fifty-eight-year-old says that he has played the "tickle monster" game with children for years and enjoys hearing them laugh. It's "a joking thing that I do," he said of the game, adding that he never touches a child without the parent's permission. Douglas is understandably upset about the matter and calls the charges "the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen."
You have to be shitting me, buddy. Random guy approaches you and asks to tickle your children? Aside from asking first, how is that NOT every parent's worst nightmare. Christ, that's MY worst nightmare.
Maybe his intentions are harmless. Maybe he gets his rocks off tickling little kid's balls. I don't know, and I don't care.
It came to my attention today that lawyer Charles R. Douglas, a self appointed 'Tickle Monster,' has been banned from a park in Illinois. Mr. Douglas had a habit of asking parents if he could tickle their children. It landed him in court.
Quoth the story-
"The fifty-eight-year-old says that he has played the "tickle monster" game with children for years and enjoys hearing them laugh. It's "a joking thing that I do," he said of the game, adding that he never touches a child without the parent's permission. Douglas is understandably upset about the matter and calls the charges "the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen."
You have to be shitting me, buddy. Random guy approaches you and asks to tickle your children? Aside from asking first, how is that NOT every parent's worst nightmare. Christ, that's MY worst nightmare.
Maybe his intentions are harmless. Maybe he gets his rocks off tickling little kid's balls. I don't know, and I don't care.
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