The AP is an Embarrassment of Riches Today

Here are the two best so far out of what has been a good day for weird Souf Dakota and Nebraska news. Just missing the cut: Two douche bags using a dead relative's credit card to rack up 25 grand in debt, and vandals reeking havoc in the Deadwood cemetary.

PIERRE, S.D. (AP) - A 23-year-old Pierre man has received a
five-year suspended prison sentence for stealing women's underwear.
Matthew Poole also was put on probation for 3 years and must pay
$850 in restitution.
He also was ordered to get sex-offender counseling and stay away
from children, pornography and adult entertainment businesses.
Hughes County State's Attorney Kelly Marnette says Poole was
working as a deliveryman and stole the women's undergarments from
homes where he was making deliveries.

What, like YOU'VE never entered someone's home, under the pretense of making a delivery of furniture or electronics or oxygen or whatever, and stolen some panties? Like YOU'VE never done that? Fine, lie to me, yourself, God, and the entire internet.

How did they catch the guy? Did they find him with his hand in the cookie jar? Or panty jar, as it were?

Also, doesn't the sentence seem a little extreme for just being a pervert? Why can't he look at porn or go to titty bars or dildo stores? Where else is he to aqcuire the various lubes and assorted ticklers and devices that normal, healthy adults often find themselves in need of? It all seems a little Draconian to me.


SIOUX FALLS, S.D. (AP) - Sioux Falls police say a cab driver was
arrested Saturday night after telling an undercover officer that
her cab ride would be free if she let him videotape her.
Police say 45-year-old Marc Steven Trujillo (truh-HEE'-oh) faces
three charges related to his cab operation and one charge of
marijuana possession.
This past spring, Trujillo, of the cab service "ABC Deliver
Me," was arrested for soliciting prostitution and two drug
charges. The city then suspended his license to operate a cab.
In a release, police said they had gotten subsequent complaints
that Trujillo was still operating his cab service and was trying to
videotape female fares.

Marc Steven Trujillo is one of my AP-lebrities. That is, someone who pops up and their story is interesting enough for me to make mental note of the details and/or their name. Some AP-lebrities have their one, white hot moment of glory and disappear (a la Tango Crenshaw). Others pop up again, like Mr. Trujillo and the Butt Bandit.

So, this Trujillo character is a repeat offender. He first came to my attention in August, a few weeks before I started the Pheasant Dispatch. He, as a cab driver in Sioux Falls, was kind enough to offer free rides to young women. All they had to do was give him a blow job.

Amazingly, not everyone was thrilled by his proposal, and the man laid the hammer down on him. Not to be deterred, Marc Steven Trujillo persisted, as any great American should. A colleague pointed out that he probably wouldn't keep it up if it hadn't worked at least once.

So, the question is...

How did YOU enjoy your cab ride in Sioux Falls?