Don't Buy Locally... Let Them Die

I like to think that the Dispatch is a legitimate web publication. I don't like the word 'blog.' I don't think it fits. I'm not posting photographs of my cat and the outfits I dress it in. I'm not talking about my vacation or my day or anything.

The way it works is, I go out and find the weird stuff, bring it back, and post the link or the AP story. Then I comment on it in a humorous manner. That's how it works.

Today, however, I dare to venture into the 'blog' or 'web diary' territory. My justification is that this story illustrates what it's like here, in the butt crack of America that is Souf Dakota.

I've made some terrible decisions as a consumer. I paid 50 grand for a degree that isn't worth the paper it's printed on. I paid $2500 for a lap top that probably wasn't worth $500. I bought an X-Box 360 that quit working properly less than a month after I took it out of the box.

Even given all that, I would argue that the worst consumer decision I've made in a long time was choosing to shop locally. I made the mistake of ordering a new phone charger from a local All-Tel dealer. Never mind that the phone is less than a year old and they should have had a charger here already for me to walk in and purchase. So, whatever, order one for me then.

That was August.

In the amount of time it's taken to get here I have been to North Platte twice. North Platte Nebraska is a desperately boring and trashy town but just off the top of my head I can think of 4 places I could have purchased a new phone charger. In the amount of time it's taken the Pony Express to get it here, I could have walked to China and gotten one directly from the factory. IN THE TIME IT HAS TAKEN FOR THE GODDAMN CHARGER TO GET HERE I COULD HAVE MADE ONE OUT OF A LEMON AND A PENNY FOR SHIT'S SAKE

http://hilaroad.com/camp/projects/lemon/lemon_battery.html

The moral of the story is, don't shop locally. The ladies have certainly been kind when apologizing when I ask them about the charger. Frankly, I would rather be disrespected by a zit faced teenager at Wal Mart for 2 minutes and walk out with the goddamn charger in my hand.

"Personal service" is overrated. They don't really treat you any better at these small local shops anyway. It's a myth. It's certainly not worth the extra money and time it will take.

Do your Christmas shopping at Wal Mart and let small town America fade away for good.