Good News! You Can Rape All The Sheep You Want in Michigan and you Don't Have to Register as a Sex Offender!

http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080925/NEWS03/809250421/1005

In what will surely be hailed as a monumentous victory for sheep rapers everywhere, one Jeffrey Scott Haynes, aged 45 of Michigan, will not have to register as a sex offender upon his release after serving his term for sexually assaulting a sheep. The judge ruled that animals cannot be the victims of sexual assault, therefore, Haynes is not a sex offender.

He is just a sheep raper.

This is a crushing blow to the livestock in this area, who were no doubt silently praying for SOME manner of legal precedent to be set in this regard.

This reminds me of one of the few times Jay Leno has made me laugh. He wondered aloud how people who engage in this behavior go about picking which animal they will assault. "Not that one, not that one... THIS ONE."

How'd you like to be the one to find someone doing the hibbidy dibbidy with livestock? I think you would picture it every time you closed your eyes.

Then, of course, there's a line from the classic 'Super Troopers.'

"Hey... Bear fucker! Do you need assistance?"