I'm an Internet Minister

I was reminded in a roundabout way tonight that I am an ordained Internet Minister. I earned this serious, life changing designation one day during web design class. I was bored with playing 'Bejeweled.'

The problem is I often go months at a time forgetting that I have these Holy Jesus powers. Then, I'll remember and go on a week long tear of blessing people's beers against their will and speaking in religious tones.

Maybe tonight I'll make my way down to one of the fine drinking establishments and threaten to declare a couple of homophobes to be married in the eyes of the internet Lord.

OR

I could claim that since the Black Hills were taken illegally, this isn't America at all, and then I'll say, "I now pronounce you man and also man."

And they'll say, "This isn't the Black Hills, though."

And I'll say, "Shut up queers. Get the hell out of America."

I think any one reading this should check out this site.

www.sexwithtimaree.com

It's an old friend of mine who writes the most entertaining columns about doing the nasty I've ever seen.