Monday, September 22, 2008

Merry Christmas! What Did I Get You? I Killed Your Mom and Your Aunt! Their Bodies Are In the Basement! Plus, I'm Going to Rape You Now!

OMAHA, Neb. (AP) - A 47-year-old Omaha man has been sentenced to
two life sentences in prison for killing his girlfriend and her
sister.
Fabian Hands pleaded guilty in July to two counts of
first-degree murder and weapons charges in the stabbing deaths of
36-year-old Saundra Brown and 48-year-old Renota Brown. Their
bodies were found Christmas Eve last year in the basement of a
north Omaha house.
Hands also pleaded guilty to first-degree sexual assault for an
attack on the adult daughter of one of the victims. Police say she
ran from a bedroom of the house begging for help when officers
arrived at the house on Christmas Eve. Officers later discovered
the bodies of her mother and aunt in the basement.
Prosecutors agreed not to seek the death penalty for Hands in
exchange for his guilty pleas.


I've had had some rough Christmas holidays in my life. One whole side of my family has never liked me and that has led to some awkward, awkward days.

Still, in retrospect, I guess it could have been worse. Having to play marbles for the 2000th time kinda pales when compared to being butchered and stashed in the basement.

!BONUS!

A Sarah Palin sighting in Omaha!


OMAHA, Neb. (AP) - Nebraska Humane Society officials have seized
a pit bull accused of attacking a man on an Omaha city street this
weekend.
Officials say the dog was taken Sunday afternoon after it
attacked a man in northeast Omaha.
Officials say the dog was not licensed and they found no record
of current vaccinations.
The dog was tracked down after the man sought treatment for a
bite to his stomach.
A recent rash of attacks and confrontations involving pit bulls
has led Omaha officials to consider strengthening city ordinances
dealing with the breed and dogs considered to be dangerous.

Lipstick is SO HARD to clean out of a gaping stomach wound.

1 comment:

halfcuthookjaw said...

they're trying to pass a law outlawing pitbulls here in omaha, all dogs knee high and larger, are considered at least part pitbullish and have a taste for babies, your babies!