Norman the Cat Totally Had This Coming

Today is a study in what happens when love of animals becomes violent.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,424486,00.html

This story was brought to the Dispatch's attention by our good friend, and to our knowledge, the only person who actually reads this blog, Tovilina.

The story is about a former athlete and current unemployed actor (if you are unemployed, couldn't you in theory be unemployed in whatever field you choose? The next time I'm 'on the beach' which is a fancy radio term for being out of work, I'm going to claim to be an unemployed astrophysicist). I thought, ok, I know the names of a lot of athletes and actors. The guy's name? Joseph Petcka.

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Who the fuck is Joseph Petcka?

According to the story, he was dating an attractive and successful Sports Illustrated reporter who had a cat named Norman. Mr. Petcka was enamored with the reporter, and obsessed with earning the cat's affection. He went so far as to journal his progress with the cat. Unfortunately, Norman hated Mr. Petcka. Things culminated with Petcka getting drunk on his girlfriend's booze, threatening to microwave Norman, and eventually kicking the cat to death.

Take a deep breath. Ok. Here's the deal.

Super pretty women and cats are two things in this world that I have little use for. I don't trust them, I don't like being around them, and in the case of cats, I'm allergic to them (pretty women are in fact allergic to me. HA! Thank you! Tip your waittress). I derive a great deal of pleasure from watching beautiful women and cats get taken down a peg or two. Still, this, uh, may have been excessive.

Also, I am not a doctor, but my amateur diagnosis is that Joseph Petcka is completely insane.

In more local news...


LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) - The Lancaster County Sheriff's office found
no crime in an investigation into an alleged threat over a Hickman
horse.
Sergeant Scott Gaston said this evening that a deputy listened
to multiple messages, and that the words weren't criminal.
City Councilman Dave Dykmann says a phone message was left at
city offices Wednesday by a woman threatening to shoot him and the
mayor.
Gaston says while he can't share the message in question, it was
worded differently and the words "weren't criminal."
The person who left the messages was contacted, Gaston said, but
won't face any charges.

Here's an earlier AP story that fills in the details...


LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) - The flap over Peter Rabbit the horse has
turned deadly serious in the small Nebraska town of Hickman.
City Councilman Dave Dykmann says a woman left a phone message
at city offices on Wednesday saying "if I had a gun I'd shoot Dave
Dykmann and the mayor." The woman apparently was upset with the
council's recent decision to uphold its ban on livestock in city
limits and force the 32-year-old horse to leave the pasture where
he was born.
Peter Rabbit's 76-year-old owner, Harley Scott, has said the
horse is too old to move, and the horse remained in the pasture.
Officials have tried to ticket Scott, but Dykmann says the
family seems to have left town.
Harley Scott's son, Jack Scott, declined to comment on Thursday.

For crying out loud, just let nature run its course. The horse will kick the bucket soon enough. How bad would the council look if the horse gets injured or killed in transport? The situation moved one woman far enough to threaten violence, though evidently she did so in a way that 'wasn't criminal.' I'd love to learn how she did that, then I'll start committing crimes in a manner that isn't criminal, too. Hopefully all it will earn me is a stern talking to like she received.