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If there is a radio station in America giving heavier rotation to Slaughter and BB Mak than the one I work at, I'll eat my fuckin' shoe.
Last Thursday marked the Anniversary of, uh... what was it? Oh yeah, the terror attacks. Governor Mike Rounds called for Souf Dakotans to remain 'vigilant,' what ever the hell that means. Seriously, I want to know what he means by that. Here is a my dramatic representation of what 'vigilance' in Souf Dakota means...
911 Operator: 9-1-1, what the is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: Uhhhhh, this here is Randy Sabotka, I was jis in town at the diner, en I seen me one uh them Al Qaidas.
911 Operator: What makes you say you saw a terrorist, sir?
Caller: Well, uh, he, uh... he weren't white.
911 Operator: Holy Ass! I'll call for the National Guard!
I have no idea how to be extra 'vigilant.' Spy on my neighbors? Go through their mail? I'm willing to do that, I just need to know that is what's expected.
In other Souf Dakota news, from the AP...
ABERDEEN, S.D. (AP) - A Groton woman, Betty Breck, has asked the South Dakota Open Meetings Commission to decide whether the Brown County Commission violated the state open meetings law.She says the county did not properly post the agenda to Tuesday's meeting at least 24 hours in advance.Breck says she went to the courthouse shortly after 6 p.m. Monday and saw a blank piece of paper taped on an inside window, which is where the agenda usually is posted.State's Attorney Kimberly Dorsett says there's a simple explanation: The agenda was inadvertently taped backwards.The Open Meetings Commission monitors possible infractions and can issue reprimands. Breck has filed other complaints with the panel since it was formed in 2004.
The headline for this article should have been 'Lonely Old Cat Woman Needs to Find Something Constructive to Do.' The last sentence of the article tells me all I need to know about one Betty Breck. She:
Has no kids
Owns at least 6 cats and dresses them up in little outfits that no one else sees
Wears sweaters, even in July
and lastly
She is one of those annoying busy bodies that seem to be in an endless supply in small towns. She makes trouble with this 'Open Meetings Committee' to feel important. Hell, she does it to not feel bored.
It could be worse. She could be slapping her genitals against church windows.
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2 comments:
Perhaps our esteemed governor is suggesting you report any suspicious feces you find on the stairs at your apartment complex. To be "extra extra vigilant" perhaps he means you should sift through it for any contraband, like corn.
I reported it to Homeland Security, and Chertoff raised the terror alert from yellow to orange.
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