Some People Are Just Asking to be Fleeced

KEARNEY, Neb. (AP) - Forget about going crazy during vacation.
Many Americans are using their vacation time to build on their
religious faith.
Kevin Wright is president of the World Religious Travel
Association. He will let the Nebraska tourism industry know how it
can get a piece of this growing market at the Nebraska Travel
Conference in Kearney.
The World Religious Travel Association says one in four
Americans rank church and religious travel as important.
Wright will teach people about the faith tourism market, which
includes pilgrimages, leisure vacations, short getaways and
retreats.
The conference will take place Oct. 21 through Oct. 23 at the
Kearney Ramada Inn and Conference Center.

There are a few aspects of this story that I think are funny. The first is...

What percentage of those pilgrimages are of the 'driving to Alabama to look at a cheeto that someone thinks looks like Jesus' face' variety? The only thing more insane than someone seeing an image of Jesus in their breakfast cereal are other people that travel to see it.

Funny thing number two...

Kevin Wright is president of the World Religious TravelAssociation. He will let the Nebraska tourism industry know how it can get a piece of this growing market at the Nebraska Travel Conference in Kearney.

That's what it's all about, isn't it? 'How it can get a piece' is a perfect, one sentence representation of the religious experience in America. That is what the whole damn three card monte is about. You take the believers money and in exchange you sell them the hope that they will eventually find the red lady, and then all their sacrifice will be repaid ten fold. Just like a raggedy hustler on the street, all the mass and retreats and pilgrimages will leave you poorer with nothing tangible to show for it.

Here's the deal though. People are just fine with it. You know why?

Faith.

I wonder if the person who came up with the concept of faith realized that they had invented the perfect product. You can never have too much of it, and if someone questions it, you can berate them for not having enough of it. Millions of people go to church weekly, like drones when recalled by the mothership, and leave poorer in reality but 'richer in spirit,' whatever the hell that means.

Expoiting the faithful's finances is the only real use I have for them, which is something that I have in common with religious leaders everywhere.

By the way, if Nebraska wants a 'piece' of the pilgrimage industry, somebody should start sifting through boxes of Wheaties looking for Jesus' face, because I cannot FATHOM what in the hell is going to draw the religious to the Cornhusker state. I'm from Nebraska, I love Nebraska, but it has about as much religious relevence as... well... anywhere else in America. Maybe the state should build one of those ricockulous creationism museums with depictions of people riding dinosaurs.

In other 'People Practically Begging to get Ripped Off' news...

SIOUX FALLS, S.D. (AP) - Officials of groups that serve the deaf
say they're concerned the South Dakota Legislature has made two
withdrawals totaling $2 million the last two years from a special
fund that provides telephone services to the deaf and hearing
impaired.
South Dakotans pay 15 cents per phone line each month into the
fund, which started in 1989.
But lawmakers raided the fund at the request of Governor Rounds'
administration. The transfers are not illegal -- but they did take
earmarked money and put it into the state general fund.
Those who advocate for the deaf say the money could have been
spent on services and access. They also say a new federal mandate
requiring state relay systems for the deaf to include video relay
service will be expensive when and if it happens.
State Senator Jerry Apa (AY'-puh) of Lead (LEED), who chairs the
Appropriations Committee, says the fund had accumulated an
"excessive amount" of money and that the argument to put some of
it into the general fund was plausible.

Deaf people think they're so cool, with their secret hand language and their 'Muffaw muffaw muffaw' speech. It's like, 'Jesus, Helen Keller, like, nobody can understand you when you talk. It doesn't matter to you because you can't, like, hear how stupid you sound. Just, like, write it down or something.'

Screw the deaf. Take their phone money. I have no idea how phones for deaf people work, anyway.

This reminds me of a story I heard a LONG time ago. It was right after the Lion King came out in theaters. Jeremy Irons, the voice of Scar, was brought in to read to deaf people. Here's a write up I just culled from the Google

A number of publications, including the New York Daily News and Time, carried a story about the apparent refusal of actor Jeremy Irons to accommodate deaf members of the audience at a reading of Lolita at 40. Irons is quoted in both publications as saying, "Why would deaf people attend a reading? It's like a blind person wanting to attend a ballet." Hands On Theatre, the New York theater company that arranged for sign language interpretation of Irons' reading, reports further in its most recent newsletter that prior to the scheduled performance, Irons made a number of disparaging comments to the interpreter, Beth Prevor.
Writes Prevor, "While placement of the interpreter became an issue with Mr. Irons, much of the problem stemmed from rude and insulting comments Irons made to me, Beth Prevor, prior to the performance." According to the article, Irons said to Prevor, "Interpreting this event is ludicrous. . .why would deaf people attend a reading. . .it's like a blind person wanting to attend the ballet. . .it's ridiculous. . .why should 290 people be distracted for the sake of 10...just to give them scripts and a flashlight...this majority guilt for the sake of the minority is taking political correctness to the extreme. . .I might as well be able to bring my dog here!"

Why WOULD deaf people attend a reading? This reminds of the time I was stuck behind a group of blind people waiting to go to the top of the Empire State Building. What in the hell for? Just skip it, tell your friends that you did it anyway, and save yourself and the other 4000 people in line the goddamned time.